Down to earth
by Jammeke
Summary: After the Siege, Elizabeth has yet another mission to accomplish. This story offers a different perspective on her break-up with Simon, and deals with the time left to spend on Earth. Sheppard/Weir, AU, Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Down to Earth

**Author: **Jammeke

**Summary:** After the Siege, Elizabeth has yet another mission to accomplish. This story offers a different perspective on her break-up with Simon. Sheppard/Weir, AU.

**AN: **I started this story a while ago, and I never got around to finishing it. Because of an inspiring review from _ancientesha_, I've decided to pick up where I left off. I don't have a beta, any mistakes are my own.

**Down to Earth**

_Who can say why your heart sighs,  
As your live flies, only time?  
And who can say why your heart cries  
when your love lies, only time?_

Once she was outside, she paused for a moment, not knowing what to do.

Elizabeth wasn't used to not knowing what to do. She was used to being calm and reasonable; to be the voice of reason and to act as she saw fit. Her diplomatic nature had always been something she could rely on.

But at this very moment, everything she'd once stood for didn't seem that logical to her anymore. Over the past year, she had come to realize that she was only human and that words alone weren't enough to solve every situation.

On top of that, much as it pained her to admit this, she knew that she would not be standing here if it wasn't for the armed soldiers who'd come with her to the Pegasus galaxy. Elizabeth never would've thought herself capable of relying on the quick and easy solution gunfire provided. Somewhere along the way, she'd learnt to accept that violence was sometimes necessary in order to save people's lives.

If only gunshots could help her convince Simon to let her go.

Here she was; standing in front of the house she'd once called home. The house hadn't changed visibly; in fact, it was exactly how she remembered it. And yet, she felt like a visitor to her own house or – better yet – a museum. Nothing, not even a chair or a closet had been moved since her departure. Everything about the house was remarkably well preserved. It felt like the entire place was a monument to her.

Simon had not moved on like she'd told him to on the videotape. This made the situation even more complicated.

Deciding she couldn't just stand here forever, Elizabeth's gaze settled on the car she'd used to get here. The vehicle was her only connection to SGC right now. She could just open the door, step inside and be on her way. It would be so easy to drive away from this conflict.

Making a snap decision, she walked over to the left side of the car, opened the door and sat down. As she plugged in the key, doubt entered her mind. Could she really do this to Simon? If she left right now, she might end up despising herself for the rest of her life.

Much as she wanted to at the moment, she couldn't turn her back on the man inside the house. Simon wasn't a wraith she could run away from; he was a decent human being who deserved – and probably was in need of – an explanation.

Still, how could she soften the blow for him? How could she explain to him that their relationship couldn't work anymore? How was she to go about telling him that they didn't fit as well as they had before? Come to think of it, had they ever truly fit?

One year ago, she wouldn't have doubted the strength of their relationship. Even now that she was about to break up with the man, Elizabeth knew that she still cared for him. How could she not? He'd always treated her right; shown her nothing but respect and genuine love.

Elizabeth also knew that she had other considerations now. Her mother had once told her that love needed time to blossom. Elizabeth had waited for her love for Simon to lift her to a new level of happiness, but that moment had never come. She was done waiting for affection to turn into love.

A lot had changed.

No, that wasn't true. Strictly speaking, only one thing had changed. Elizabeth had changed. Atlantis had changed Elizabeth. She had learned to live with the fear that she might not live to see another day. Fear for her own life had taught her to appreciate the time she'd been given – the _life_ she'd been given, fragile though it might be.

Simon wouldn't understand. He loved Doctor Weir, diplomat Weir – he'd never met the woman she'd become. The gentle doctor would never fully grasp why she now believed it was necessary to attend negotiations with well–armed soldiers at her side. He would never understand that sometimes, she had no choice but to let lives slip away.

She _understood _the way he would undoubtedly react to the new Dr. Weir. She had long considered herself to be a pacifist as well. But she had come to realize that not everything in life was black and white, and this realization was one of the reasons why it wouldn't work with Simon anymore. For a relationship to work, she needed someone she could confide in.

The front door opened to reveal Simon.

Elizabeth took a deep breath. This was it. She was going to tell him she couldn't be in a relationship with him anymore. This time, she would not allow herself to be swayed by his pleas and exasperation.

Scraping together whatever courage she had left, she got out of the car.

Simon didn't say anything. He just stood there, watching her silently.

Why couldn't he be mad? Why wasn't he yelling at her? Why wasn't he throwing things in her direction? She knew full well Simon wasn't an aggressive man, but it would be so much easier to deal with anger than hurt and disappointment. Disappointment was the worst emotion she'd ever faced. She hated feeling like she'd failed people.

Elizabeth started towards him, but made sure there was a safe distance between them when she came to a halt. Standing face to face with him was something she didn't think she could handle right now.

"Simon."

It was as good a start as any. Or as _bad_ a start as any, given the circumstances.

"Elizabeth."

The tenderness in his voice made her shiver.

"Simon, before I say anything else, I want you to know that I truly care about you. You are a kind, compassionate man and I will forever be grateful for getting the chance to get to know you. Whatever I'm about to say will not change that."

Ever the diplomat.

"I am not sure I like the sound of that."

Elizabeth found herself agreeing with him. He was right to be weary, for he knew what she was about to say. She knew this for a fact, because she'd already tried to explain the situation to him a few minutes earlier. It hadn't worked out like she'd hoped it would, but Simon was smart enough to grasp what she'd been trying to tell him.

Suddenly, she was overcome by a wave of irritation. If Simon knew what she was trying to do, why did he have to make this so difficult on her? Why did he have to put her through this a second time?

"Believe me, you don't."

Snappy.

She sighed. "Look," she continued, "I need to get back there, Simon. I need to get back to Atlantis. I am the leader of the people I work with and I'm not about to let them down. Please don't try to convince me to stay. You will most definitely be wasting your breath, and I'd hate to be the cause of that."

"But I _want_ you to stay," Simon said, fixing her with an intense look. "Can I at least make an effort? You deserve an effort, Elizabeth... I can't let you walk away from me. Not like this."

_Not like this_, she thought, feeling strangely exasperated. Then how did she have to act for him to let her go?

It was silent for a while.

"What if I came with you to this Atlantis?"

She'd been hoping he wouldn't say that. Oh, she'd _really_ hoped he wouldn't. Now how could she turn him down without breaking his heart?

Suddenly, the image of a face appeared in her mind. It wore a solemn expression, but its eyes were twinkling and the corners of its mouth were slightly tugged upwards. She watched as the mouth opened to speak.

"_So, here's what we know. The Chief of this village is eager to get his hands on our C4 and he's definitely going to try to talk you into giving it to him for free. Needless to say, you're not going to do that. We want at least half of his harvest, right? All right. If he starts giving you trouble, you just fix him with one of those stern looks you're so good at. Don't worry; you're a natural at looking resolute, so you probably won't have to intimidate him too much. All you have to do is stand there and look confident, which basically means you have to act like the Elizabeth Weir I know. You've talked yourself out of stickier situations than this one, Elizabeth. You'll be fine."_

"I wouldn't want you to," she said resolutely. Studying his fallen expression, she added, "I am sorry, Simon. I've made my decision."

Why did she feel ashamed of being proud of that?

It would have been easier to blame their break–up on the fact that she was going back to the Pegasus Galaxy soon. It wouldn't have hurt as much. Instead, she'd chosen to tell him the truth. She'd told him that things were over between them because she was done with their relationship. Now he knew that prospect of a long–distance relationship had nothing to do with her decision.

Maybe it was better this way.

"I see."

Two words. She tried not to flinch at his crestfallen face.

Simon was already moving backwards.

Words were a strange concept. Mere minutes ago, she'd tried to tell him the truth by using many of them and it hadn't worked. In the end, it had taken only one sentence to make her point come across.

Elizabeth sent him a faint smile. "I am not sorry, Simon. And you shouldn't be, either. Please believe me when I say it's for the best."

"Do you... want to take anything with you?" Simon gestured backwards at the house. He was obviously ignoring her attempt at tact.

"No, I'm good."

_Who can say if your love groves,  
As your heart chose, only time?  
And who can say where the road goes  
Where the day flows, only time?_

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** Thanks for the encouraging reviews!

If you're not a fan of the Sheppard/Weir pairing, you might want to consider dropping out at this point, because there will be plenty of sparky moments from now on.

**Down to Earth**

_May it be an evening star _  
_Shines down upon you _  
_May it be when darkness falls _  
_Your heart will be true _  
_You walk a lonely road _  
_Oh, how far you are from home_

Elizabeth could barely comprehend how relieved she felt as she drove back to the SGC. She had expected to feel guilty, sad or maybe even sorry about breaking up with Simon, but either the situation hadn't fully hit her yet, or she had simply made a wonderful decision.

The conversation she had been dreading for days was over and a heavy burden had lifted itself off of her shoulders. She felt free, relieved and happy and the world around her seemed a lot more beautiful now that she actually took the time to enjoy the sights.

There was one downside to her new state of freedom: she no longer had a house on Earth. Granted, the SGC had offered her private quarters, but the idea of staying underground for the next couple of weeks didn't seem appealing to her. Still, it would be nuts to rent a room for such a short amount of time. Within weeks, she would be on her way back to Atlantis. No, the SGC would have to do, no matter how much she despised its dark corridors.

The marines posted outside Cheyenne Mountain let her pass after she showed them her identification card and she parked the car in an empty spot. As she turned off the engine, she reminded herself of the fact that at the very least, most of the briefings were done by now and she would not have to spend much time inside the base.

It was something.

The elevator was empty and Elizabeth busied herself checking her wallet, making sure every card was still tucked inside. It was the only object she'd retrieved from her house. She hadn't expected to need one in the Pegasus Galaxy last year, and that was the reason why she'd left it behind, but now that she was back on Earth, she knew that she couldn't do without money.

She had left most of her belongings behind at her – no, _Simon's_ house. She couldn't bring all her stuff back with her to Atlantis, for there were strict regulations about personal items. It was probably just as well. Once she'd be back in Atlantis, her belongings would only serve to make her feel miserable. They would remind her of Simon and the life she used to have.

The idea of leaving behind everything that had once seemed important to her didn't seem unappealing to her. Maybe she would come to regret her decision later on, but at this very moment, the lack of strings to her old life added to the feeling of freedom.

Saying goodbye to Sedge had been hard. Her loyal dog had made a fuss when she gave it a hug goodbye, and Elizabeth had wondered whether the animal knew it was never going to see her again. She realized how lucky she was to have a conscientious man like Simon take care of her dog. Sedge was in good and capable hands. That thought gave her some comfort.

The elevator doors opened and she stepped out of the cabin, almost bumping into the person waiting on the other side.

"I'm sorry," Daniel Jackson offered from where he was kneeling on the floor; already gathering the books that had fallen out of his arms. "I tend not to notice people when I'm reading."

"Well, maybe you should stop reading in the middle of the hallway," an amused voice drawled from their right.

Elizabeth turned her head. "John," she exclaimed, surprised to see him here.

John strode over to them and sank through his knees to pick up a book before handing it over to Dr. Jackson. "Elizabeth." He nodded in the direction of the kneeling archaeologist. "Daniel bumped into me, too, this morning. Only in my case, he didn't even notice and waltzed right over me."

John looked good, Elizabeth decided. More relaxed than she had seen him in some time. Of course, since they'd stopped the Wraith from coming to Atlantis, it stood to reason he had finally gotten some well–deserved sleep.

Dr. Jackson came to his feet, offered her an apologetic smile and stepped into the elevator.

"So," Elizabeth said, tearing her eyes away from the closing doors. "What are you still doing here?"

John shrugged. "This place is as interesting as it gets. It's strange…" he paused. "I spent the last twelve months wondering whether I'd ever see Earth again, and now that I'm actually here, I don't know what to do with myself." He gave her an apologetic smile.

Hearing John admit to this surprised Elizabeth. What surprised her even more was that she could relate to him. Much as she hated the idea of staying at the Stargate Command for the upcoming weeks, she had no idea where she would go to if she were to leave the base.

"I know what you're talking about," she told him. "I never would have believed Earth would one day seem overwhelming to me. There are so many cities and countries to explore. I honestly wouldn't know where to start."

John nonchalantly leaned against the wall. "You don't have any plans?"

Elizabeth regarded him silently for a moment. "None as of yet," she said eventually.

He nodded slowly. "Okay."

It was in that moment Elizabeth realized that John did not have any family on Earth. And _if_ he did, he didn't keep in touch with them. His refusal to send a message through the Stargate a few weeks back had definitely caught her attention. She knew how close he was to his team members she briefly wondered if he felt alone without them by his side.

On impulse, she gestured down the corridor. "Walk with me?"

John smiled and fell in step behind her. "So, " he said conversationally, "done anything interesting yet?"

She shook her head. "Nothing interesting, no. I haven't gotten around to anything yet."

John snorted. "Briefings are a royal pain in the ass, aren't they? I think I'm about done debriefing, but I kinda tuned out during the last one, so I'm not exactly sure." He was silent for a few moments. Then, "That's why you're here, right? To debrief?" He practically spit out the last word.

Elizabeth gave a friendly nod to a bypassing scientist and quickened her pace a bit, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "No, I'm not."

John took a few huge steps to catch up with her and shot her a curious look.

She sighed. "I'm staying inside the mountain, much as I dislike this place." Her gaze dwelled down the corridor and the lack of windows once again saddened her. What with the base being underground, she knew daylight was not an option, but the artificial light unnerved her to no end.

There was no response and she realized John must have picked up on the fact that she no longer had a home to go back to. He'd known about her plans to go see Simon, but she hadn't seen him over the last couple of days and for all he knew, she could be reunited with her former lover again. He hadn't asked her about Simon yet and she imagined that was modesty on his part. It was considerate of him, but she knew she wouldn't mind if he just popped the question.

They reached her quarters. Elizabeth stopped and turned to face John. "So," she said, repeating his earlier words.

"Yeah."

She wasn't used to not knowing what to say to him. In Atlantis, there had always been something for them to discuss, and making small–talk had been no problem for them either. But here, on this new base were people she didn't know and members of the IOA roamed the corridors, it felt a bit inappropriate to have a friendly conversation with her CO.

Elizabeth shook her head. That last thought was ridiculous and John deserved better than that. Not only was he her CO; he was one of her closest friends as well, and the idea of shutting him out was ridiculous, not to mention rude. "Would you like to come in?" she asked.

John raised one eyebrow. "Sure."

She nodded and opened the door to her quarters. It was dark inside. Elizabeth once again considered herself lucky that she would be returning to Atlantis within a month. Working at the SGC hadn't been entirely unpleasant in the past and the people were welcoming and friendly enough, but the facility made her feel a bit claustrophobic. On top of that, not being able to hear the sound of the ocean at all times was an unnerving experience as well.

John made a small irritated sound behind her and a moment later, the lights came on. Elizabeth turned around and saw that his hand was resting on the light switch. She smiled.

"You really expected them to come on by themselves?"

He grinned sheepishly. "I've already bumped into two doors that refused to open up for me – and this morning, I stood in my shower for at least two minutes before I realized that I would have to turn it on myself. It's weird."

She cocked an eyebrow. "You've become lazy, John Sheppard."

"I know." He curiously looked around the room. "It looks nice," he said. "I think it's bigger than mine." He smiled. "And much tidier, of course."

Elizabeth started towards the bed and heaved her backpack on top of the neatly made covers. "I never thought I'd ever say what I'm about to say, but I think it's _too_ clean." She sighed. "I hate messy rooms, but this base makes me want to spoil paint all over the place."

It was silent for a moment

She slowly turned around and studied her CO. His face was perfectly blank, but she _knew_ what he was thinking. "You don't like it here either."

"That's not entirely true," he defended himself. "The gym's quite nice, actually. Thanks to Teyla's lessons, no one's been able to beat me yet."

"That's what you do all day?" she asked.

John dropped his gaze.

Elizabeth mentally shook herself. "Well, I don't even like the gym," she joked. "I'm worse off than you." Making John feel uncomfortable hadn't been her intention. What he did in his free time was his business. It was just strange to realize neither of them belonged in this world anymore. They had no idea what to do with time on their hands.

She pulled two red shirts out of her pack and opened the closet. If she was going to stay here for another few weeks, she might as well try to make the place feel a bit more comfortable.

She turned around to see John curiously peeking into her pack.

Putting her hands on her hips, she raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing, Major?"

He looked up and gave her an innocent look. "I was just looking if you happen to have anything other than red."

Elizabeth snatched the pack away from him. "Don't you think you would have noticed if I did," she asked, only half joking. Suddenly, a thought entered her mind. "Wait a minute, I do have a blue and a brown shirt," she reminded him.

John rolled his eyes.

Not knowing whether to be irritated or amused, she unpacked the rest of her clothes and carefully re–folded them.

"It's not like you have anything other than black to wear," she countered when she was done.

And that was true. She couldn't remember a single time she'd seen him out of his standard uniform on Atlantis, hospital scrubs aside. For a moment, she pictured him in jeans and a white shirt. She quickly erased that thought from her mind.

"That's different," he told her. "I'm supposed to wear my uniform at all times. You, however, are not." His eyes narrowed. "You seriously don't have anything else to wear?"

Elizabeth started to open her mouth to tell him that she did – only to realize that she didn't. Or at least, not anymore. She'd left everything at the house. Abruptly closing her mouth, she stared intently at a spot just above John's left shoulder.

He coughed. "Well, these clothes are all right, of course," he said awkwardly. "I mean, they're nice. It's just that they're all the same color and…" he trailed off.

It was a good thing he'd stopped, because he'd been in the middle of making a complete fool of himself. To be honest, Elizabeth thought it was a bit cute – and she was _not_ going to speculate on where that thought had come from.

"Oh, I see," she said lightly. "Well, since my clothing bothers you _that_ much, I should probably fall head over heels to buy myself some new garments." It wasn't a bad idea actually. If she was going to stay in Atlantis for some time, which she assumed she would, she'd need more clothes anyway. "If even John Sheppard makes comments about my wardrobe, I must be a sad case," she teased.

She almost smiled at the way he raised his hands apologetically. "I didn't mean to – you are evil," he added, once he spotted the sparkle in her eyes.

Elizabeth shrugged. She was acting like a silly teenager – and enjoying every second of it. The teasing act was ridiculous, of course, but it did take her mind off matters that she did not want to dwell upon right now. Their playful banter reminded her of the way Rodney and John usually interacted. Thinking about the duo's interactions made her realize she was probably a poor substitute for Rodney. Annoying though Rodney might be, he knew exactly how to keep John occupied. It made her wonder what the scientist was doing right now.

An idea entered her mind. "Since you seem to know exactly what I should be wearing, why don't you come with me?" she suggested.

John looked taken aback. "I'm sorry?"

The question had popped out of her mouth before she knew it, but now that Elizabeth thought about it, the idea didn't even seem that unappealing. "We could head into town tomorrow," she said. "It would be a good opportunity to buy Teyla a souvenir and get some extra clothes to bring back with us." Seeing that he wasn't convinced yet, she tried a different tactic. "You haven't set one foot outside the mountain since you got here and I would like some company." That sounded reasonable, she thought. She shoved aside the thought of how it would look like if they were to leave the base together. Just because she was John's boss, technically, didn't mean she couldn't interact with him on a social level.

Right?

John still looked a bit uneasy. "If you're sure…"

"I would like you to come along," she assured him.

He shot her a grin. "Then, yeah – it would be nice to get out of this damn mountain for a change."

Elizabeth nodded. "It's settled, then."

A silent moment followed. They were gazing at each other, both unsure of what to say next.

"I should…" John gestured at the door.

"Right," she hastily agreed.

John gave a quick nod and turned around to leave. "They're serving meatloaf tonight," he said over his shoulder. "You might like to try finding something else to eat. I've taken extra precautions myself and befriended a marine who has a stash of chocolate in his quarters."

Elizabeth smiled. "The SGC's meatloaf isn't so bad," she lied, cocking her head to the side. "I will see you around, then?"

John placed his hand on the door handle and turned around to face her again. "Yep." He offered her a small smile. "So… see ya."

"Likewise."

Once John was gone, Elizabeth stared at the closed door for a few seconds more. She knew that nothing would ever be able to make her feel happy about residing inside a mountain complex, but having John around sure helped a lot.

As she absently pushed her backpack back underneath her bed, she felt a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Yes, having John around would make things a lot more interesting.

Now, if only she could find a substitute for meatloaf tonight, maybe this day wouldn't be so bad after all.

_May it be the shadows call _  
_Will fly away _  
_May it be you journey on _  
_To light the day _  
_When the night is overcome _  
_You may rise to find the sun_

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:** Thanks for the wonderful reviews. I hope you'll all continue to like this story.

**Down to Earth**

_Nothing unusual, nothing strange__  
Close to nothing at all  
The same old scenario, the same old rain  
And there's no explosions here_

That the mattresses were hopeless, she'd known before coming to the base. She had been in the SGC before, and it was one of the many things that had stuck with her. Now that she found herself facing a considerable longer amount of time down here, it bothered her more than it did last time.

Yes, Rodney was most definitely staying someplace else. The scientist would rather die than risk permanently damaging his back on a mattress this bad.

Elizabeth hadn't skipped on dinner the night before, but as she finished putting her jeans on, she found herself wishing whole heartedly she had been that wise. Her stomach hurt, and she feared the food was going to come out the exact same way it had come in.

She and John hadn't agreed on a departure time the day before, but she figured they could talk about it at the Mess during breakfast. She preferred leaving the base as soon as possible, because she couldn't imagine herself spending the better part of the morning down here. Beside the fact that she had nothing to do, she simply couldn't wait to see the sun again, though a cloudy sky would do, too.

She put on her shoes and quickly brushed her hair. It had grown considerably longer over the last year, even though she'd made a real effort to keep it short. She decided she would have to see a hairdresser later today. She'd worn her hair long for the better part of her life, but it was just much easier to keep it short if she were to go back to Pegasus again. Facing down the Wraith and the Genii was bad enough; she didn't want to fuss over her hair on top of all that.

After closing the bathroom door behind her, she cast a quick glance around the room, and decided she was ready to leave. She grabbed her bag and swung it over her right shoulder. John wasn't a long sleeper and he was probably already waiting for her in the Mess.

When she entered the cafeteria ten minutes later, the place was already swarming with scientists and marines. It once again reminded her of how big an operation the Stargate Problem was, and of how many people were involved. In a strange way, she felt proud of each and every one of these people, though she barely knew them at all. Just like the members of her own expedition, they were doing a constant job of keeping Earth safe, and she admired and respected them for their courage and bravery.

Elizabeth walked over to where Samantha Carter was sitting and gave her a friendly nod. Carter replied by sending her a distracted smile. The blond scientist was typing on a laptop at full speed, and Elizabeth didn't even pretend to understand the text on the screen. Taking one glance around the Mess, Elizabeth realized that John hadn't arrived yet. She sat down at the other side of the table. Carter looked up briefly, before focusing on her laptop again. Elizabeth was just about to say something when the other woman raised her head and looked at Elizabeth.

"What are you still doing here?" she asked bluntly.

Elizabeth was surprised by the direct question. She merely raised one eyebrow and folded her hands in front of her.

Carter smiled and looked down for a moment before looking up and meeting her eyes again. "I'm sorry. That didn't come out right. I just thought that you would be enjoying your time off by now. From what I've heard, the last year's been particularly tough on you."

Elizabeth tried not to stare longingly at the smoking cup of coffee in front of Carter. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you the one who never leaves the base when your shift's over?" she asked politely.

Carter smiled. "Fair enough." She closed her laptop and took a sip of her coffee. "But I haven't been away for a year," she reminded her lightly.

Elizabeth bowed her head. "That's true." She cast a glance around the room again and was slightly disappointed at not spotting the messy-haired head she was waiting for.

Carter sounded genuinely interested in her motives behind staying at the SGC, and she decided there was no point in not telling the other woman. After all, she had chosen to sit with her, and making conversation with your table-mate wasn't a strange thing to do. "I don't have a house on Earth," she told the blond scientist. "Staying here seemed like the most logical option. Besides, there's always the chance the IOA call me in again. A lot of decisions have to be made." It was part of the truth, and it did make her story sound a little less pathetic.

Carter nodded in understanding. "Have you had a tour of the base yet?" she asked.

God, no, Elizabeth thought. She'd seen more than enough of this base already. "Yes," she answered. "Well, of the most important areas, I have." That wasn't far from the truth either.

Doctor Jackson dropped down beside her and lifted Carter's cup to his mouth. "God, I'm tired."

Carter snatched her cup back and commented on stubborn archaeologists working through the night who had to get their own coffee. Elizabeth averted her gaze to keep from laughing out loud. Suddenly, her heart sprang up. John had just entered the cafeteria, and he seemed to be looking for her. Waving at him, she moved to the side to make room for her CO.

John spotted her and started towards her table. He was wearing his standard uniform again and Elizabeth was now convinced that he did not own anything other than black shirts at all. Going into town would be the perfect opportunity to pick up some civilian clothes. Fortunately, John rarely ever wore his jacket, and the black shirt did not stand out too much – though she had to admit it looked particularly good on him.

She, too, wouldn't draw any unwanted attention in the outfit she was wearing. She had picked jeans instead of the greyish pants that had pretty much been attached to her legs in Atlantis.

"Morning," John greeted, as he plopped down beside her.

Carter and Jackson looked up in union, and Jackson offered a reply in return. Carter merely nodded. There were a few drops of coffee on her laptop screen, and she was busy cleaning the device using Daniel's jacket.

"So, what's on the menu today?" John asked cheerfully and Elizabeth peeked at the small buffet in the far corner of the Mess.

"I can't see," she answered, shooting a questioning look at Carter.

Before Carter had a chance to respond, Jackson's mouth was already doing the work for her. "Trust me, it's not worth getting up for," he ensured them. He gestured at Carter's now half empty cup. "The coffee's drinkable, though."

John looked at Elizabeth. "We could eat something downtown," he suggested.

Not wanting a repeat of yesterday night's meal, Elizabeth was quick to agree with him. The food on Atlantis hadn't bothered her as much, because she hadn't really had enough time to actually consume it, and it wasn't like she could have eaten anything else if she'd wanted to. Here on earth, there was plenty of good food to go around – for part of the population, anyway - and she was not about to let this opportunity slip away from her. Apparently, John felt the same way.

"I guess we'll be going then," she said, rising to her feet, and pretending not to notice the suspicious glare Carter was shooting her.

John nodded and came to his feet as well.

With a friendly nod to the members of SG-1, they left the table and started towards the exit.

They had to wait for the elevator, and John immediately leaned his back against the wall. Elizabeth shot him a look but he didn't seem to notice. Slouching was something the pilot was really good at, and it made her wonder whether he'd ever lost a fight because of it. His sessions with Teyla had most certainly improved things, but the Athosian was going to have to continue working with him for a long time to come.

John drove. They hadn't discussed the matter. As soon as Elizabeth was done unlocking the doors with her remote, they'd automatically taken their seats. It felt good to sit next to him in a vehicle. She hadn't gone on a lot of mission with his team, but she did know he was remarkably good at flying a Puddle Jumper. In fact, the only time she'd seen him be completely at ease, had been inside the Ancient flying machine. During the few times she had joined him and his team, the ease with which he'd manoeuvred the ship had allowed her to lean back in her seat and relax.

John's composure was a lot more concentrated at the moment, but that could be due to the fact that this vehicle didn't read his mind.

Since neither of them wanted to go to one place in particular, they left the navigation system off, and followed the signs towards the city centre. John had the presence of mind to remember that it was extremely expensive to park downtown, which was why they parked the car in a parking lot just outside the main area, and decided to walk the rest of the way.

They bought two large strawberry muffins and two cups of coffee at a small cafeteria. The friendly old man behind the counter also put two glazed doughnuts in their bag when he thought they weren't looking. For a dining place this small, there were a lot of people. The old man seemed to know many of them by name, and Elizabeth could swear she heard him mumble something about underfed people just before they went outside.

The weather was beautiful, and Elizabeth suggested they sit down somewhere to eat their breakfast. She felt like she hadn't sat down to properly enjoy a meal for ages. However, power bars were a lot easier to dispatch than crumbly muffins, and she wanted to enjoy the warmth of the sun for as long as she could. She knew that pretty soon, they'd be exposed to the air conditioning inside the shops.

They strolled down the streets and eventually settled for a small park downtown. There were a lot of people in the park, but no one spared them a glance as they sat down and ate their muffins together.

It was strange not to be stared at, Elizabeth thought, as she took a small bite and swallowed. In Atlantis, the Mess Hall became all fussy whenever she and John had dinner together. It wasn't that they'd made a habit of dining together, but during the few times she'd joined him at his table, they'd barely had enough privacy to have a normal conversation. It was one of the reasons why she preferred to eat in her office. Or have no dinner at all.

John folded his wrapper and tossed it into the nearest dustbin without getting up. "So…"

Elizabeth still had her mouth full and chose not to respond to that thoughtful comment. John smirked and leaned backwards, resting his weight on his elbows and patiently waiting for her to finish.

It took her a few more minutes to swallow the last bite of her muffin. She carefully dabbed her chin with a napkin. "All right. Where are we headed next?"

John raised an eyebrow. "I was waiting for you to tell me."

She took a deep breath, considering their options. "If we start shopping now, we have to carry around our bags for the rest of the day. Of course, that would be fine if we wish to spend the rest of the day shopping, but if we want to do something else as well, I suggest we do that first."

John nodded. "So?"

"So what?"

"Do we want to do something else first?"

"I don't know. Do you?"

"That depends on what you want."

Elizabeth sighed. This conversation was going nowhere. "All right," she decided. "Why don't we start looking for the nearest shopping mall, and if we find something more interesting along the way, we can always reconsider our options."

John sat up. "All right, then."

It didn't take too long for them to find the nearest shopping centre. Elizabeth had also spotted a cinema on the way, but they'd both felt it would be a shame to spend the next couple of hours inside a dark room. "But," John had said, "If we prefer not to spend long and boring nights in our quarters, we'd do well to remember this place."

It was nice to hear that, apparently, John liked spending time with her, and rather than waving the comment off, Elizabeth had enthusiastically agreed. It would've been wiser to point out that it would look suspicious if the two of them were to leave for a movie at night. However, it was her time off, and she had to stop worrying about pointless things like regulations.

She'd almost come close to convincing herself.

As Elizabeth soon discovered, shopping wasn't exactly John's area of expertise, but that was quite alright. She wasn't a natural at it either, and they had a lot of fun picking outfits for each other.

At one point, John suggested she try on a leather coat. She merely laughed at him and threw the piece of clothing at his head. She, in return, recommended he wear a tie, and the look of horror on his face made her burst out in laughter. He friendly whacked her in the head when he discovered she was joking.

By midday, they'd both picked some nice outfits, and Elizabeth was quite happy with her new shirts. John had refused to let her buy any more red ones, so she'd picked some other colors for a change. Of course, it was good to have some coloring options, and she was genuinely glad that she'd followed her CO's advice. But the thing she was most fond of wasn't one of her own shirts; it was John's light blue blouse, and she was proud of herself for getting him to buy it. Threatening to stick him behind a desk for more than a month had been a very effective move. John had protested at first, but after taking a look at her earnest face, he'd been quick to comply.

Much to Elizabeth's pleasure, they had lunch at Subway. John had insisted they go to McDonald's, but she had been the one to win the argument by stating they had already had unhealthy food for breakfast, and that it had been her idea to go shopping. Feeling she ought to show him _some_ gratitude for carrying most of her bags, she'd promised him they would get desert at McDonald's. That final argument had made him give in.

She was just about to take a bite of her Veggie Burger when John whistled softly. "Elizabeth…"

"What?"

His gaze moved to something behind her back, and she slowly turned around to look. Groaning softly, she turned back in her seat again. Rodney McKay had just entered the small restaurant.

"Has he seen us?" she asked, not daring to turn around again.

John picked up a menu and lifted it to cover his face, offering Elizabeth a wonderful sight at Subway's newest sandwiches. She felt a giggle coming up, and tried to stifle it by swallowing some of her diet coke.

"I don't think so," her CO's voice came from behind the folder. "But I'm not sure."

Of course, Rodney chose that moment to lean over Elizabeth's shoulder and stare at the menu John was holding. "Oh, I'm sorry," she heard him mutter distractedly. "It's just that the letters on the menu behind the counter are so small and - hello!" The scientist's hand reached out and snatched the folder out of John's grip. Elizabeth could only stare as John's face was revealed.

It was quiet for a few seconds and for a short moment, she dared hope Rodney hadn't looked at John's face at all. Then, she heard the scientist exclaim, "Sheppard?"

John didn't try to hide his annoyance. "Rodney."

Rodney walked around the table and stared at her. "Elizabeth?" he asked, disbelief filling his voice.

"What are you doing here?" John asked rudely. "Do you know they put lettuce on your burger at this place?"

Rodney waved away the question. "The coffee here's worth dying for." Elizabeth fought the urge to snort. "But what are you two doing here? And why wasn't I invited?" He actually sounded insulted.

Looking up at her Head of Science, she decided to go with part of the truth. "We had no way of contacting you, Rodney," she said soothingly. "And we wanted to get out of the SGC for a while, breathe in some fresh air, talk things over…"

"Get some clothes," John added, ever helpful.

Rodney's eyebrows rose to his hairline, which – Elizabeth noted - was quite an achievement for the balding scientist. The man plopped down beside John. Her CO abruptly shifted to the side, annoyance still evident on his face.

"Well then, I guess it's a good thing we ran into each other," Rodney stated. He raised his hand. "Excuse me, hello! Hi, yeah - could you come over here for moment?"

"You have to order at the counter, Rodney," John hissed.

Rodney looked at him. "Of course. I'll be right - yeah." He hurriedly made his way over to the counter.

Elizabeth shared a look with John, and tried not to laugh at the expression on his face. "Be nice," she warned him.

It was just so… _Rodney_ to literally force his way into their conversation. Knowing the scientist wasn't good at taking hints; Elizabeth suspected he wasn't going to leave anytime soon either.

But Rodney was a close friend and a nice man, and her own annoyance at his arrival surprised her. She wondered why she hadn't wanted for her lunch date with John to be interrupted, and why she wanted for the scientist to leave.

Taking another sip of her diet coke, Elizabeth decided that her mind was a strange place, and that she would have to sort things out sooner rather than later. Frankly, she was starting to doubt her own mental health. She'd been hiding too many things from herself, and the habit was starting to annoy her. She wanted some answers and she wanted them now.

_Then something unusual, something strange  
Comes from nothing at all  
But I'm not a miracle, and you're not a saint  
Just another soldier on a road to nowhere_

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **I know it's been a while, but I hope some of you are still interested. Thanks for the reviews on chapter 3.

**Down to Earth**

_If you knew that love can break your heart  
When you're down so low that you cannot fall  
Would you change?  
Would you change?_

"So," Rodney started, apparently not noticing the hotness of his coffee and taking a huge sip. He'd resumed his position next to John, two sandwiches stalled out in front of him. "What have you two been doing these past few days?"

Elizabeth looked at John, but he gestured for her to go first. "Not much," she admitted. "I've debriefed the IOA on everything they needed to be made aware of, and I've thoroughly discussed my reports with them as well. In about three weeks, we are going to start picking additions to our teams," she added, knowing Rodney would need more scientists if he was planning on continuing to do more than twelve projects at once.

Rodney nodded. "I know. I've been made aware of that already. Lt. Colonel Carter dropped by _in person_ to tell me the good news." For a moment, a dreamy expression appeared on his face. "Anyway," he continued, having seen the look on John's face. "This is your first moment outside the base?"

Elizabeth shook her head, wondering what he was getting at.

"Did you visit anyone?"

She nodded.

"Huh. Must have been awkward. I don't know why, but most people feel insulted when their friends stay out of touch for more than a few months. Mind you, _you're _quite the talker. I'm sure you've managed to talk yourself out of trouble."

Elizabeth chose not to respond to that.

"What about you?" Rodney asked John. It was amazing how he was still able to pronounce actual words with about half a tuna sandwich in his mouth. Elizabeth hastily leaned to the side, and only just managed to avoid the spray of tuna headed her way.

John shrugged. "Nothing interesting. I've kicked some Marine ass, had some good nights sleep, learned not to eat the stuff they call food at the SGC… You get the point."

Rodney obviously did. "Except I like the food," he pointed out, wiping his mouth clean with his right hand, and reaching for his coffee cup with the other. "I'm also quite fond of hospital food. But I don't like airplane food, because you can't get seconds."

It was silent for a while, as Rodney ate and John and Elizabeth watched him stuff the sandwiches down his throat at an amazing speed.

Elizabeth didn't know what to talk about, and John's quietness indicated he was having the same problem. It was strange that having their familiar environment taken away from them made their easy way of dealing with each other disappear as well.

In that moment, the ache for Atlantis became almost unbearable, and Elizabeth was shocked by her own feelings. She had grown very attached to the Ancient city and its inhabitants, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but she wasn't sure it was healthy either. Except that it felt good. It really felt good to be a part of something, even though that something took place in another galaxy.

"What were you planning on doing today?" Rodney asked, having finished his meal. He looked genuinely interested.

Elizabeth exchanged a quick glance with John. "Well, we were thinking of buying some more clothes before we head back to Atlantis. My CO was kind enough to point out to me I could do with a change of color." She tried not to laugh when John pouted at her.

Rodney focused his attention on John. "You said that to her? And people have the nerve to say _I_ am incapable of tact. Well, mister fashionable, what were you planning on making her wear?"

Spotting John's smirk, Elizabeth immediately knew that she was not going to like the answer.

"Well," John began. "I was thinking of pink tank-tops, a black bikini and... a miniskirt. Of course, heels could prove to be valuable as well…"

All right, time to cut him off. "Heels?" she questioned, rising one eyebrow. "Why on Earth would I need heels in the Pegasus Galaxy?"

John grinned. "Does that mean you're okay with the other stuff?"

"No," Elizabeth said firmly. "It means I'm not even going to dwell on the other things you've mentioned. Now, do you have an answer to my question?"

John seemed to think about it for a moment. "Well, for starters, they'll make you seem taller, provide you with an authoritative look… Not that you need one," he hastily added. "I'm just saying - wait, you're actually considering buying heels?"

Was she? She had to admit that she actually missed wearing heels at times. Before her coming to Atlantis, she'd been to many diplomatic meetings, and she'd worn expensive clothing to special occasions. She'd owned many fashionable shoes and heels. Up until now, she hadn't given much thought to her former wardrobe. However, wearing heels again as a reminder of her old life _would_ be sort of nice.

"What good are heels going to do me in an alien city?" she repeated. She didn't want to let him know that she was close to waltzing into the nearest shoe store to buy herself a pair of heels.

"What good is my skateboard going to do me in an alien city?" John countered, his eyes twinkling. "The point is that I _like_ to skate. That's why I'm taking the board with me. If _you_ like wearing heels, you should bring along a pair."

"As much as I love listening to heels talk," Rodney broke into their conversation, "are we going to sit here all day? Because if so, I'm ordering another coffee."

Elizabeth opened her mouth, but John beat her to it. "What were _your_ plans for today, Rodney?" he asked politely.

Elizabeth switched her attention to Rodney's face, anxiously waiting for his answer. Much as she liked the scientist, the idea of being in Rodney's company for the rest of the day didn't seem appealing to her. She'd looked forward to spending some time alone with John, and she knew that if Rodney were to join them, the two men would spend the rest of the day bickering, and teasing each other. Normally, she quite enjoyed watching the two men interact, but at this moment, the idea alone made her want to squirm.

"Well, hello! I'm a busy man, I _always_ have plans," Rodney said, sticking out his chin. "But I was thinking that maybe I should join you. I know shopping isn't really my thing, but... if it means doing you two a favor, I might as well just tag along."

Elizabeth inwardly groaned, and mentally cursed herself shortly after. She was behaving like an idiot, and Rodney deserved better from her. The hopeful look on his face was enough indication that he really wanted to be with them. Though the man would never admit to it, she suspected Rodney felt as lost on Earth as the rest of the expedition members, perhaps even more. It wasn't a secret that the Canadian scientist wasn't good at social interaction. She'd actually been amazed at the circle of friends he'd so quickly gathered around himself in Atlantis. To be honest, she thought Rodney hadn't expected to make friends in the Pegasus Galaxy either.

John cleared his throat. "Well... Rodney, you shouldn't feel obligated to join us," he said politely. "It's obvious you have other plans. Don't let us keep you."

Rodney waved away the comment with his right hand. "Yes well, _I_ can't help it if the two of you insist on keeping me from my work, now can I? So, where are we going?"

Elizabeth was at a loss of words. "We..."

"Don't know yet," John finished, shooting her a quick glance.

"Exactly," Elizabeth confirmed.

Rodney's smile didn't falter. "Hm. Okay, well... I don't know the first thing about shopping, so you two are going to have to tell me wha-" He was interrupted by the sound of a cell phone going off. Elizabeth didn't bother reaching for her own phone, since she didn't recognize the tune, but Rodney's hand went to his jacket immediately. He clumsily pulled out a cell phone the size of a Jane Austen novel, and brought it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Rodney, you have to press the green button first," John said helpfully.

Rodney shot him a glare. "Well, forgive me for not having figured out how this thing works yet. I need some time to dumb down before I can adjust to human technology again. Besides, I only got this thing yesterday." He pressed the green button and raised the phone to his ear again. "Yes?"

The brunette sitting two tables away from them had raised her head at Rodney's comment about human technology, and was now staring at the scientist with a strange look on her face. Elizabeth shot the girl an apologetic smile, and waved at Rodney. "He's not... exactly in his right mind," she mouthed. The girl nodded slowly, and focused her attention on her magazine again.

She could see that John was having a hard time suppressing his laughter, and poked him in the ribs with her elbow. "John."

"Sorry," he choked. "It's just... I can't wait till I tell him about what you just sa-"

"You are not going to tell him anything," she said sternly.

And that was final. It had been hard enough to humiliate her friend in public; she was not going to allow John to rub it in the scientist's face.

Rodney ended his conversation and snapped his cell phone shut. "I have bad news, I'm afraid. That was Lindstrom. He needs my help finishing up a major project of his; he needs to finish it off before he comes to Atlantis."

Much to Elizabeth's relief, the girl who'd overheard Rodney's words earlier didn't even raise her head this time. She sent her friend a gentle smile. "That's a shame, Rodney. But I'm sure we'll be able to spend some time together soon."

"Yeah, probably." Rodney looked strangely miserable. "Well, I'll see you around. Or you can just, you know, call me." He waved with his cell phone.

"We will," Elizabeth promised.

"Green button," John added, earning him a glare from Rodney.

They watched their friend's retreating back for a moment, before looking at each other. "That was unexpected," John offered lightly.

"It most certainly was." Elizabeth didn't want John to know she was silently glad that Rodney was gone, so instead of smiling, she put on a neutral expression. "I guess it's just the two of us, then."

"I guess so." John put his elbows on the table and rested his head in his hands. "So... heels?"

Her face broke into a grin. "John..."

"Oh, come on. And you are not going to buy a red pair. In fact, I don't want to see you buy anything reddish today."

"The last time I checked, _I_ was still your boss, meaning you're the only one taking orders around here," she told him.

John's smile didn't falter. "Orders? Never heard of that term in my life." He came to his feet, and put his jacket on. "I'm here because you wanted my advice, remember? If you want, I could just leave..."

When she didn't say anything to get him to stay, his smile _did_ waver for a moment. Deciding it was time to stop teasing each other; Elizabeth came to her feet as well. "You aren't going anywhere, Major. I haven't given you permission to leave. Now, let's see if we can find a nice pair of heels in this city." With that, she walked passed him. Her shoulder touched his for a brief moment, and she quickly walked on, figuring it had to have been a slight accident.

o0o

"I think you should take it," Elizabeth told John, two hours later.

They were standing in a small shop downtown, and John was critically eyeing himself in the mirror. Elizabeth had picked herself six new outfits. When she'd announced that she was not going to take any more clothes back with her to Pegasus, John had pouted and told her that he was just starting to get into the whole shopping thing. Therefore, she'd suggested they go and try to find some civilian clothes for him as well. So far, he'd only bought the light blue blouse, and the Major could do with some extra shirts.

"I don't know," John said, looking down at the shirt he was wearing. "It's white."

Exactly. And he looked fantastic in it. Elizabeth crossed her arms. "Yes, I can see that."

John sighed. "I never wear white."

She smiled widely. "And I've never worn anything other than red. Well," she added, when he frowned, "I have, of course, but I'm just trying to make a point."

John still looked unsure, and she decided to make the decision for him. "John Sheppard, you are buying this shirt. It looks great on you, and if _I_ have to wear other colors, then so should you. It's only fair." Dear God, what had happened to using valid arguments? She was acting like a teenager.

It was all John's fault, really, she told herself. He just seemed to have that kind of effect on her whenever they were off the clock.

"All right, but just so you know, I'm never going to wear this thing. Ever," John warned her. He walked back into the changing room, and closed the curtain behind him.

"We'll see about that," Elizabeth mused aloud.

Two minutes later, they were stood outside, both carrying a couple of bags. Elizabeth glanced at her watch. "It's four o'clock."

John merely nodded. "Okay." It was obvious he was waiting for her to decide what to do next.

Elizabeth thought about it. "I say we return to the SGC, drop off our clothes..." She paused for a moment. Spending the rest of the afternoon with John would be nice, but she wasn't sure he wanted to, and she didn't want to force him into saying yes by suggesting they go back into town together afterwards. However, staying at the SGC meant she was going to have to spend the rest of the day underground, and she'd been having such a good time out in the open today.

"And?" John asked.

"I don't know," she admitted. "Spend some time in our quarters? Or in your case, the gym? It's going to take a few more hours before dinner is served."

"You're wrongly assuming I plan on having dinner in the SGC," John said. "From what I've tasted in the mess hall, I think going to a restaurant would be a much healthier choice." He was silent for a few moments. "Would you..." He trailed off.

She waited.

"Would you like to come with me?" he finally asked.

He looked a bit embarrassed. Elizabeth tried hard not to think about how cute he looked. For maybe the twelfth time today, she told herself to get a grip. "I'd like that," she said, and she had to smile at John's happy expression. "But that leaves us with a few hours to spend before dinner, and I for one don't feel like dragging my bags along for the rest of the afternoon."

John raised his eyebrows. "I never pegged you as the whiny type," he teased. "But I could carry some more of your bags, if you want."

Elizabeth shook her head. "I refuse to let you carry the rest of my bags." She wasn't that kind of woman. Still, John's suggestion had been sweet, and she showed her gratitude by shooting him a grin. Her jaw was getting sore from the smiling and grinning she had been doing all day.

"How about this," John began, "We return to the SGC, drop off our bags, drive back into town again, spend a couple of hours hanging around, have dinner at a nice restaurant, eat real slow, so that we don't have to spend the evening underground, and return to the base afterwards."

Elizabeth considered his plan. "That sounds wonderful." She shifted the packages in her arms. "It seems a bit pointless to drive all the way back to the SGC, only to come back again afterwards, but I don't think it'd be possible to hide all these bags under our car seats, and I'd hate for the window of my car to be kicked out – or worse, for my new heels to get stolen." She grinned again.

John chuckled. "Yeah, well... the SGC pays for the fuel, so we don't have to worry about driving back and forth."

Elizabeth shook her head. The man was impossible.

They walked back to the car, and John took his rightful place behind the driving-wheel again. "All buckled up?" he joked.

Elizabeth stopped reaching for her seatbelt to shoot him a glare. "Almost secure, dad," she responded sarcastically.

"Good."

And really, it was hard to stay annoyed at a man who was humming the Scooby Doo song as he drove. Closing her eyes, Elizabeth let her head rest against the back of her chair. It had been a good day so far. And she was anxious to know what the rest of the day would bring.

_If you knew that you would be alone  
Knowing right, being wrong  
Would you change?  
Would you change?_

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

**AN**: Thanks for the wonderful comments on chapter four. I hope you'll all continue to like this story.

**Down to Earth **

_When there's a shadow, you__ reach for the sun  
When there is love in you, look for the one  
And for the promises, there is the sky  
And for the heavens are those who can fly_

Elizabeth bolted upright in her seat. "John, why didn't you turn right?" She turned to look at the junction they'd just crossed. "We're headed in the wrong direction."

John didn't react at first. It was only after a few seconds that he turned his head and looked at her. "What?"

Elizabeth leaned forward in her seat, and turned off the radio. "Eyes on the road," she warned. She knew John was capable of driving just about anything, and she knew from first-hand experience that he was real good at it, but she still preferred not to take any chances.

John immediately turned his attention to the road again. He looked confused.

"You didn't turn right," she stated, leaning back in her seat.

John nodded slowly. "I know. We're taking a shortcut."

Elizabeth immediately protested. "No John, we are not. I've read enough mission reports to know that you're not particularly good at taking shortcuts." In fact, she knew that shortcuts had gotten him into trouble on many occasions. If John hadn't strayed off the route on the Genii home world six months ago, they could have formed a strong alliance with the alien race. Elizabeth had never accused John of starting the war with the Genii, but she knew full well that things would have gone differently if she'd sent Sergeant Bates' team to the Genii planet.

When John didn't react, she continued. "John, I mean it. Turn this car around."

For a moment, she feared he would get angry and tell her he didn't want to have dinner with her anymore, but a closer look at his face revealed that she hadn't upset her CO with her request. She couldn't be sure, but she even thought she saw a hint of a smile on his lips.

"All right," John gave in. "But I still think my way's shorter."

"I'm sure it is." Elizabeth opened the bag that was situated on her lap, and pulled out one of her new shirts. She sighed as she stroked the soft fabric. Of course, she always made sure her clothes were comfortable, but still, she was convinced this green shirt would soon be her favorite. It was flexible, soft and it looked nice, too. It was a good thing John had spotted it hanging behind the counter, because she hadn't seen it, and would have passed by it without a second thought. When John had told her it complemented her eyes, she'd had a hard time trying not to blush.

Thinking back on his comment still made her feel a little light-headed. She'd noticed on several occasions that John was good at observing the people he worked with, but knowing the color of their eyes added a whole new meaning to the phrase 'paying attention'.

She knew, of course, that John hadn't meant much by it. Making flattering comments to women was something he did at least twice a day. Still, the warm feeling in her chest was hard to ignore.

"We're back on track," John announced, two minutes later. "We should be there in..." he glanced at his watch, "thirty minutes."

Elizabeth nodded. "Good."

"We could make it there a lot faster..."

"John."

"I'm just saying..."

"Don't."

o0o

"So, you all set to go?"

Elizabeth almost dropped the shirt she was holding. A look over her shoulder proved her first presumption to be true. "John!"

Her CO was leaning casually against the door-frame. His arms were crossed, and he had an amused look on his face. "So I've been told."

She turned around to face him. He was wearing the white shirt she'd insisted he buy, and looked quite pleased with himself. It was hard to suppress a smile, because Elizabeth knew how uncomfortable John had been when he first tried on the shirt. She nodded encouragingly. "You look nice."

"Why, thank you, doc."

Elizabeth playfully narrowed her eyes. "Isn't this the part where you're supposed to tell me I look nice as well?"

"Well, I would, but _you're_ not wearing your new clothes."

She held up the shirt she'd almost dropped seconds earlier. "I was just about to change, Major, but I was interrupted by a certain person who decided to sneak up on me. This is one of the reasons why people normally knock, John."

She hadn't expected him to be ready this soon. After they'd arrived at the SGC, they'd parted ways, both needing some time to unpack their bags and change into clean clothes. John thought it was ridiculous to change during the day, but she'd insisted on it. She really enjoyed shopping every once in a while, but it was an exhausting activity, and she always felt sticky afterwards. Walking in and out of shops took more energy than one would expect. John had eventually conceded her point, but it hadn't been easy.

Seeing him now, looking fresh and at ease, made her smile. The way John acted without the burden of command resting heavily on his shoulders was one of the few things that made this trip to Earth seem worthwhile.

"If you would just step outside for a minute," she suggested, "I'll change into a new outfit as well. I will call you when I'm ready."

John nodded. "All right, but if you're not done in thirty minutes, I'll be forced to conclude that you're one of _those_ girls, and you understand that I'll have no choice but to inform McKay about that."

She narrowed her eyes. "One of _those_ girls?"

He shrugged. "Well, you know... The type that stands in front of a mirror for hours. Not that I think there's anything wrong with that…" She could see from his expression that he thought otherwise.

Elizabeth shook her head. "Let me put your mind at rest," she said. "I simply don't have the time to spend hours in front of my bathroom mirror. As you well know, being in charge of Atlantis provides me with a lot of other things to do." She was silent for a few seconds. "By the way, don't _you_spend at least ten minutes a day on getting your hair to go like that?"

John actually looked offended. "I have nothing to do with whatever happens up there."

He couldn't be speaking the truth. "Really?"

His frown deepened. "_Really_."

"You mean it sticks up like that naturally?"

"_Elizabeth_…"

"All right, then, I believe you. Now, get out." Elizabeth pointed at the door, and purposely turned her back on her CO, who quickly took the hint and walked out. Elizabeth let out a small breath and started changing. And if her changing clothes took less time than usual, it had nothing to do with proving John's theory wrong _at all_. It was completely coincidental.

o0o

As it turned out, they didn't have much time left to spend downtown after all. It was almost six o'clock when they finally found a parking spot and most shops were already closing. Because it was late in the afternoon, visiting a museum wasn't an option either. John appeared to be relieved at that, but Elizabeth was a little disappointed. Knowing that it was too early to pick out a restaurant, they decided to go for a walk. The first park they encountered wasn't big, but walking in circles suited both of them just fine.

John commented on how nice it was to go for a simple walk without being attacked by aliens or angry natives. A look at his posture, however, proved that he wasn't completely relaxed. Not as relaxed as he'd been back in Elizabeth's quarters. Elizabeth suspected that John's trust towards by-passers wasn't overly large, and she felt grateful that John obviously trusted her enough to loosen up around her. His slouchy posture fooled a lot of people into believing his instincts and fighting techniques weren't worth writing home about, but she, as well as many other people in Pegasus, knew better. He was always on full alert, even now, though a stranger wouldn't be able to tell. She was once again reminded of how intrigued she was by her CO.

They made small talk for a while, both laughing and nodding every now and then. John's imitation of Kavanagh amused her more than it probably should, and he nailed Zelenka's accent perfectly. Elizabeth knew she'd surprised him when she made her special dolphin sound, the one she'd been practising for years. She didn't make the sound often, because it didn't normally come up in conversations, and the surprised look on John's face was rather funny. However, watching him as he tried to imitate the sound was even funnier. When he eventually gave up, she patted his arm and told him not to lose any sleep over it. He, in turn, earnestly stated they all had their special talents, and that he was glad to finally have found hers.

After that, they spent some time teasing each other, both well aware of where the other drew the line, and careful not to overstep it. She had to admit John was better at the teasing act, but some of her comebacks did manage to surprise him, and she smoothly reminded him of how she'd spent most of her life undermining people's arguments. He was quick to concede, and stated that she certainly had a way with words – and witty comebacks. Telling him that she chose to take that as a compliment made him smile. She briefly wondered if they would ever stop smiling in each other's presence.

Commenting on how time's fun when you're having flies, a comment that caused Elizabeth to accidentally swallow her chewing gum, John pointed out that it was time for dinner, and they started looking out for a restaurant. It didn't take too long for them to find a place they both liked. Elizabeth had been afraid John would want to go to McDonald's or some other fast food restaurant, but he'd simply stated that if she didn't like fastfood, they'd find someplace else. They found a nice Italian restaurant shortly after that.

There weren't many dinner-guests in the restaurant, and they had no problem finding a nice table for two near the window. The waiter arrived shortly, and they ordered their drinks and meals. Barely having had the time to take a look at the menu, they ordered pizza for John and pasta for Elizabeth. The thought of ordering spaghetti had crossed Elizabeth's mind, but an image of Lady and the Vagabond eating spaghetti together by candlelight had entered her mind shortly afterwards, and she'd wanted for the image to go away. Ordering pasta seemed like a safe option.

At one point, Elizabeth noticed her dish had gone cold, even though she was barely halfway through. She blamed John for her less appetizing meal. Every time she wanted to take a bite, the Major would say something that made her want to comment on his words. The only bites she'd taken so far had taken place during the few times the conversation had stranded. These silences had not been uncomfortable at all, and Elizabeth was glad for the fact that she and John understood each other well. Even though she'd gotten quite good at forced small talk, she found that she only ever spoke like that with people she barely knew.

Since finishing her dish seemed less appealing now than it had half an hour ago, Elizabeth took the time to ponder on how this day had been exactly what she'd so desperately needed. Spending a relaxed day with John had taken her mind off things that she couldn't help but dwell on. Leading Atlantis was a wonderful opportunity, and despite the losses they'd suffered and the enemies they'd come across, she'd never once regretted coming to the Pegasus Galaxy. Still, that didn't stop her from wondering if the work her team did in Pegasus was worth the loss of so many lives sometimes. Fortunately, she only felt that way in whenever she was facing truly difficult decisions. She knew she always did her best at making the right call, but at times, she couldn't help but wonder if she'd made all the right decisions over the past year.

Being here with John made for a welcome distraction, and Elizabeth couldn't deny that she wouldn't mind for the distraction to go on for a little while longer. It was strangely refreshing to be in a place where the only thing she had to decide was where to have dinner in the evening. Of course, she knew that if she were to stay on Earth, she would soon face bigger problems than that, but for now, she was content to enjoy the quiet of the moment.

o0o

"Thanks John, I had a wonderful time tonight." Quoting the movies. Why was she quoting the movies? Elizabeth was a diplomat; she should be remarkably good at expressing herself.

John didn't seem to mind. "Yeah, me too." His smile was genuine.

They stood just outside the elevator on the fourteenth floor in the SGC. Or rather, Elizabeth was standing; John was casually leaning against the wall.

It was late, and the corridors were deserted, though Elizabeth suspected there were still a handful of scientists working in their labs right now. Therefore, they had to be careful with what they said about having had dinner together. She swore those Air Force regulations were going to be the death of her. Not being able to talk freely to your CO in public was ridiculous, not to mention narrow-minded. However, she didn't think General O'Neill valued her opinion anywhere near enough to change the rules. Another downside to discussing her relationship with her CO with Jack, was that the General could become suspicious of her good relationship with John

"Well, I assume we'll see each other again tomorrow?" She said casually, not quite sure how to express her gratitude.

John nodded. "I guess we will. I, for one, have no plans of going anywhere anytime soon." He put his hands in his jean pockets.

Elizabeth didn't think she'd be leaving the SGC either, and she decided not to dwell on that depressing fact. "All right. Thanks for today, John. I'm glad you joined me." She paused, before continuing. "It was good to get out of here for a while."

John was already shaking his head before she'd finished with the first sentence. "No, it's _me_ who should be thanking _you_. If you hadn't offered to take me shopping, I would have ended up getting my ass kicked by Teal'c again, and I'm not sure I would have survived another fight." Her little huff made his expression turn serious. "I mean it. Thanks for today."

The awkwardness that had been nowhere to be found during dinner, suddenly came falling out of the sky now that they were back on military territory. It was annoying and somewhat disappointing to what had been a perfect day this way, but Elizabeth was sure that as soon as they returned to Atlantis, they would be able to leave all awkwardness behind them.

"I think I am going to turn in for the night," she stated, looking over her shoulder. Her quarters were just down the corridor. She wasn't exactly sure where John's quarters were located, but she suspected they wouldn't be far from hers.

"Yeah, okay." John pushed himself away from the wall and shrugged his hands out of his pockets. "Night."

"Goodnight." Offering her CO one last smile, Elizabeth turned around and made for her quarters. She felt John's eyes on her back, which made her feel extremely self-conscious. Taking a deep breath, she tried to loosen her shoulders a bit.

Without looking back, she opened the door to her quarters and stepped inside. It was dark in the room, and she quickly turned on the lights. The TL light didn't provide the room with the warm glow she'd become used to in the city of the Ancients, and she felt a pang of homesickness. It was one of the unexpected moments in which she realized how much she missed Atlantis, and moments like these made her even more anxious to get back to the Pegasus Galaxy. It was good to know that between her love for the Ancient city and the burden of command, love continued to win out.

Unfortunately, these moments also reminded her of how anxious she was to get away from the SGC. Granted, John's presence made her stay at Stargate Command a lot more bearable than it had been the last time she'd been here, but the idea of spending yet another couple of weeks down here still seemed particularly unattractive to her. Still, dwelling on her dislike of this place wasn't going to make the upcoming weeks pass any quicker.

Keeping that thought in mind, she brushed her teeth and readied herself for bed. She'd enjoyed herself tremendously today, having spent hardly any time inside the base. She was just going to have to find a way to spend the remainder of her days on Earth in a good way, too. She wasn't exactly sure why, but she had a feeling a certain Major would make at least part of that intention come true.

_When there's a journey you follow a star  
When there's an ocean you sail from afar  
And for the broken heart there is the sky  
And __for tomorrow are those who can fly_

TBC…


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: **Thanks for the encouraging reviews. I'm sorry for being unable to come up with a more original way of thanking you than repeating this author's note over and over again.

**Down to Earth**

_How soft a whisper can get  
When you're walking through a crowded space  
I hear every word being said  
And I remember that everyday  
I get a little bit closer to you_

The next couple of days went by in a blur for Elizabeth. She spent most of her time helping Dr. Jackson translate the Ancient tablet SG-13 had had found on M7G-X77. On top of that, spending time with the new leader of SG-1 distracted her mind from the break-up with Simon as well. Cameron Mitchell's father, Frank Mitchell, had once been a friend of hers. She'd admired the man for having the strength to go on after losing both his legs in an accident. Cameron reminded her of Frank, and it felt good to revive old memories of one of the strongest people she'd ever known with the Lt. Colonel.

Elizabeth felt no urge whatsoever to cry over old photographs of her and Simon, and she would be lying if she'd say her heart was broken, but there was no denying the fact that she and Simon had lived together for a long time. Granted, she'd spent the last year without him and had managed to survive just fine, but being on Earth in the knowledge that she was never going to walk through her front door again, was quite unsettling to her. She'd never considered leaving Simon; her relationship with him had been one of the few things in life that had made sense. She spent the better part of her nights wide awake, wondering if they would still be together if she'd never stepped through the Gate. She was ashamed to admit she supposed so.

She didn't see a lot of John, but she did catch a glimpse of him every now and then. They would smile at each other in the corridor, and make small talk whenever an opportunity presented itself. Life on the base proved to be more interesting than she'd imagined, and she was quick to discover there was no need to die because of boredom around here.

Bumping into McKay in the corridor soon became a daily routine for Elizabeth. The scientist appeared to be everywhere at once, and she couldn't help but wonder if the man had installed Ancient transporters throughout the base. Rodney always seemed more than happy to inform her about his list of possible future expedition members, so putting together a new team of scientists had become another thing to add to her 'to do-list'. Elizabeth didn't mind McKay's obtrusiveness. Rather than sitting back and waiting for the month to be over, she tried to make herself as useful as possible around the base. She jumped at every opportunity to keep her mind busy.

It wasn't until five days later that her sleepless nights were starting to take its toll on her, and she found herself distancing herself from the people she worked with more often. No one seemed to notice her evasive behaviour, because she still came out of her room every morning, and spent most of her time interacting with base personnel, but the worried glances John kept shooting her whenever their eyes met, clearly indicated that he wasn't as easily fooled by her facade as the rest of the base.

o0o

Elizabeth rolled over in bed and stared at the ceiling, willing her eyes to close shut, but at the same time knowing they wouldn't. Physically, she was exhausted and her body desperately needed some rest, but mentally, she just couldn't seem to bring herself to sleep. She was plagued by too many bad memories and concerns about the future.

Her break-up with Simon didn't even make it to the top ten on her list of bad memories, but she still thought back on the moment she'd told him goodbye at least two times a day. Fortunately, she hadn't started regretting her decision just yet. Still, the end of a long-lasting relationship was something she didn't take too lightly, and she spent a lot of time wondering whether Simon had found a way to move on yet.

Most of the time, she found herself worrying over either her co-workers on Atlantis, or the Ancient city itself – or a combination of both. She knew that Teyla was perfectly capable of leading the city, and she trusted the Athosian woman completely, but who was to say the Wraith hadn't returned and vaporized the base while she'd been busy shopping and translating Ancient tablets? Beside those doom scenarios keeping her up at night; she was almost constantly haunted by the death of some of her people. On top of that, the disappearance of Aiden Ford bugged her immensely. The knowledge that one of her people was out there on his own made her feel sick with guilt and worriment.

Deciding that tonight was going to turn into yet another sleepless night; Elizabeth swung her legs over the edge of the bed, and came to her feet. If she wasn't going to get any rest tonight, she might as well get some coffee to help her body cope.

It was dark in the cafeteria. Someone had turned off the lights, and there was no one to be seen. She didn't need the lights to know the coffee machine was placed on a table in the far corner, and she carefully walked over to the other side of the Mess and pushed the 'on'-button on the machine. The thing immediately started beeping, its sounds echoing through the silent cafeteria. Elizabeth flinched slightly and hoped no one had heard. She was not in the mood for dealing with a herd of angry scientists, or worse still – armed marines.

The machine indicated it was done spurting coffee, and she grabbed the cup with two hands and walked over to the nearest table. Sombre as this place was, she despised the idea of spending yet another night awake in her quarters. The cafeteria seemed the most logical option to stay for the next couple of hours. She couldn't imagine anyone approving her dwelling the corridors in the middle of the night – something she occasionally did on Atlantis.

It was ridiculous, Elizabeth thought angrily, as she wrapped her fingers around the hot mug again. She had been doing so well. She'd even spent the first two nights on this base sleeping through the night, so why was she experiencing a setback now?

A sound behind her startled her. She turned around in her seat, hand automatically reaching for her headset – only to realize she wasn't wearing one. "Hello?"

The lights flashed on and Elizabeth blinked. She squinted her eyes at the bright lights, but she was still barely able to make out the person standing in the doorway. "Who's there?" she demanded. She rubbed her eyes, trying to get a better view of who was interrupting her late night break.

"Elizabeth?"

John.

Her CO walked over to her, looking suspicious. "What are you doing here? Do you have any idea what time it is?"

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "I'm perfectly capable of telling the time, Major. I couldn't sleep." She studied his face. "What's your excuse for being up?"

John sat down. "Never been a late riser." He shrugged lightly.

Elizabeth tilted her head to the side. "Right." She decided not to press on, knowing that if John wanted to talk about his sleeping habits, he would do just that. The Major was a very private man, and she would hate for him to pull his passive face on her right now.

"So..." John took a sip from her coffee and Elizabeth glared at him. "How have you been doing these last few days?"

Elizabeth calmly took her mug from his hands, and put it down on the table with a soft thud. "Why do you ask?"

His eyes bore into hers and she felt herself grow uncomfortable. "Because I think something's bothering you," he stated.

Elizabeth instinctively raised her chin. "John..."

"Look, if you don't want to talk about it, it's fine. I get it," he interrupted, causing her to send him a glare. "But don't tell me there's nothing on your mind, because I _know_ that's not true." He dropped his gaze. "And I don't want you to lie to me."

Elizabeth was stunned for a moment. Was the man that capable of reading her? More importantly, was she that easy to read? She'd always thought she was perfectly capable of controlling her feelings and emotions. In fact, she'd worked on her poker face for quite some time in order to do her job properly. Of course, most of her reserved behaviour came naturally to her. It unsettled her that John was capable of breaking down her walls, even after everything they'd been through together.

The uncomfortable silence that followed seemed to unnerve them both. Suddenly, John came to his feet, shoving his hands in his pockets as he rose. "I'll leave you to," he gestured at her mug, "your coffee." He made to walk away, before pausing and throwing her an intense look. "And Elizabeth, if there's anything you want to talk about... Just know that I'm here for you." At her slightly sceptical look, he shrugged. "Hey, I might not be an expert at the comforting thing, but I do know how to listen."

Elizabeth felt a warmth spreading through her chest at that last comment, even though she found herself disagreeing with him. The Major was perfectly capable of comforting her, and she wasn't ashamed to admit that leading Atlantis would've been even more challenging if it hadn't been for him and his optimistic attitude. She prayed to God that her CO would never drop this optimistic –and boyish – attitude, because much as it made her want to strangle him at times, his way of looking at things was one of the most enlightening things she had encountered on Atlantis. What with all the Ancient technology in the city, that was a pretty impressing achievement.

"John, don't go," she finally said. He was almost at the door. She was relieved to see him freeze.

"Are you sure?" He hadn't turned around yet, and she was still staring at his back. Elizabeth was once again struck by how lean her CO really was.

"I am." She pulled up her legs underneath her and grabbed her mug again. "I could use some company."

John made his way back towards her again, and dropped into the chair at the opposite side of the table. "Been that long, huh?"

That wasn't true. "I've been around many people," Elizabeth protested.

John leaned back in his chair. "But have you talked to someone lately? And I mean, really _talked_ to someone?"

Elizabeth slowly shook her head. "I suppose I haven't." She allowed a small smile. "They would've had to have security clearance, and I don't know many people who do. Besides, the opportunity hasn't really presented itself."

"Consider this an opportunity."

Elizabeth set down her empty cup and sighed. "Look, John – I appreciate your concern, but I'm not in the mood to talk about it. Could you just drop it?"

John scratched his head. "All right. I suppose it's your choice to make." He studied her face for a moment. "But if the bags under your eyes grow any bigger, your head is going to loll forward."

"Have _you_ ever talked to someone?"

The change in his expression almost made her wish she hadn't asked. His face displayed an impressive range of emotions, beginning with dismay and ending with sheepishness. She found that last look oddly adorable, because it made him look younger than his years. His resembling a kid who's been caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar made her want to protect him and put his mind at rest, and she suddenly understood his urgent desire to make her talk.

When he finally replied, his answer surprised her. "I have."

She threw him a disbelieving look, hoping it didn't offend him.

John rubbed his forehead. "It's true. I used to talk to someone." He shook his head, as if to shake off a memory. "It doesn't matter now, she's gone."

Elizabeth felt her eyes widen. Who was this woman he was talking about? And what did he mean by _gone_? Had she died? "Is she..."

He seemed to understand what she was getting at. "She left me."

She didn't know how to respond to that, and could only watch as he stared off into the distance.

It took her several minutes to regain her speech. "You know, John... I'm quite good at listening as well. If you ever want to talk about anything, just know that I am here for you."

He nodded absentmindedly. It seemed none of them was going to get anything off their chest tonight, but the idea that she _could_ turn to him if she wanted to was enough for now. Elizabeth was startled to realize that she might take him up on his offer one day. She hoped he felt the same way.

"I'm going to get a cup of coffee." John came to his feet and gestured at her empty cup. "You want another one?"

Elizabeth nodded. "Sure."

As she watched him walk away, she felt a smile tugging at her lips again for the first time in hours. This moment, this midnight meeting in the cafeteria... it had changed something. She wasn't sure _what_ had changed, and since none of them had actually opened up about anything, she didn't know anymore than she did yesterday, but still, as she waited for him to return to the table, she had a feeling that maybe she would soon discover what had changed between them.

_How long an hour can take  
When you're starting into open space  
When I feel I'm slipping further away  
I remember that everyday  
I get a little bit closer to you_

TBC…


	7. Chapter 7

**Down to Earth**

_How can you see into my eyes  
Like open doors?  
Leading you down into my core,  
Where I've become so numb._

Elizabeth came awake with a shock.

A quick glance at the clock on her nightstand told her that it was 10 AM. At first, she was unable to believe she'd actually slept that long. Then, bits and pieces of the conversation from last night came drifting back to her, and she realized it had gotten quite late for both of them. They'd talked for a very long time.

John had expressed fear of getting transferred to another post back on Earth. At her disbelieving look, he'd patiently explained to her that The Powers That Be wouldn't trust a position of great importance to a Major, and that even if it wouldn't be his rank, it would definitely be his questionable record that would soon lead to his replacement. Elizabeth had tried to convince him of his importance to the expedition – and to her, though she'd not spoken that thought out loud – but her arguments had done little to put his mind at rest.

To be honest, Elizabeth knew exactly where her CO was coming from. She, too, suspected the SGC was going to give them a hard time, though she hadn't yet considered the possibility of losing John to his commanders. What she _had_ counted on, was the interference of the military and the IOA the moment they established contact with Earth. She'd fully expected them to take immediate control over the expedition now that it was going to be a lot easier for them to keep an eye on the city and its inhabitants. However, she knew for a fact that the SGC only wanted what was best for both Earth and Atlantis, so she would have to make them realize that John _was_, in fact, the best man for the job.

She and John had gotten off to a rocky start. All too clearly she could remember their first argument on the balcony only hours after they'd arrived on Atlantis. She'd barely managed to get him to listen to her concerns about provoking the Wraith. Of course, she'd respected his determination to leave no one behind, but her thoughts had been with the wellbeing of _all_ the expedition members at the time. Over the course of the year, she'd learnt that she couldn't always play things by the book on Atlantis, for it seemed that the Wraith and the Genii and all the others hostile civilisations they'd encountered didn't exactly stick to the rules either.

She and John had soon developed mutual a respect for each other, and while they didn't always see eye to eye, they'd eventually found a way of working together that worked for both of them.

Elizabeth trusted John's leadership abilities, and the fact that he'd defended her to Everett a few weeks ago proved that John had come to trust her decision-making as well. She'd not yet forgotten about the nanites-incident, but they'd talked about the situation afterwards, and she knew that John would never undermine her authority in public again. He'd explained to her that he would continue to do whatever he deemed best, but that he would never openly diminish her orders again. She believed him.

In truth, Elizabeth silently admired John's tendency to act on his own account. That was not to say she liked people overriding her authority, but she still preferred the Major's presence to that of someone who would jump in front of a train if ordered to do so by their superiors back on Earth. She liked it when people had a mind of their own, and it was obvious that John was perfectly capable of thinking for himself. And those thoughts were remarkably clever most of the time. She'd come to rely on his guidance and knowledge, and if she were completely honest with herself, her military leader had changed _her_ view on the military as a whole – and that was quite an accomplishment.

Knowing she was too late for breakfast already, Elizabeth decided to pay another visit to Doctor Jackson's lab. She was curious to know how far he was with the Ancient tablet. She assumed the doctor had translated most of the symbols already, for she assumed she and John weren't the only ones who hadn't slept much lately: no doubt the good Doctor had worked through a few nights as well.

oOo

"Elizabeth!"

Elizabeth turned around and watched as her CO came jogging up to her. His face was excited, and she found herself smiling before he'd even said anything.

John came to a halt in front of her, wearing the outfit he usually reserved for his workout sessions with Teyla. His hair was sticking out in more directions than usual – if that was even possible – and he held a pair of bantos sticks in his right hand.

Elizabeth allowed him a few seconds to catch his breath, but he didn't seem to need them. John was always in good condition, partially because he frequently got chased by angry aliens with pitchforks, but for the most part, his physical fitness was due to his long morning jogs through the uninhabited areas of Atlantis. She'd once asked him if he had a running partner, but he'd told her he preferred to run alone. Elizabeth hadn't asked any further questions. John was entitled to his own way of finding peace and quietness.

"I didn't get beat to death by Teal'c," John told her happily. He threw one stick up in the air and caught it easily with his left hand. At the same time, he managed to swirl the other stick around with his right hand. It was obvious he'd developed some skill.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "I'm assuming that's a good thing?" She continued to walk down the corridor and waited for John to fall into step beside her. Energy was radiating off him, and her lips twirled upward. He was acting like a ten-year old who'd just seen a horrible monster – too overcome by the coolness of the situation to be afraid. It was nice to see him lose the stiff posture he'd developed during his time at the SGC. He wasn't the Head of Military around here, and he'd been forced to quickly adapt to the strict chain of command at the base.

John nodded eagerly. "Yep. Remind me to thank Teyla when we get back to Atlantis, because I owe her my remarkably unbroken bones." He shot her a grin.

Elizabeth's steps faltered slightly, but she quickly picked up her pace again. Apparently, John was acting like the talk from last night had never happened. She knew for a fact that he was very much doubting whether he was going to be allowed to return to Atlantis.

"I will," she said slowly.

John suddenly raised his right hand, and only just managed to avoid smacking her in the head with the stick he was still holding. Elizabeth quickly ducked her head, and he smiled at her. "Nice reflex. Listen, about last night…" He trailed off for a moment. "I didn't mean to bother you with my personal issues. I mean, you looked like you had enough stuff on your mind already. So…"

Elizabeth came to a halt. "Do you want me to forget about what we talked about?" she asked disbelievingly. It shouldn't hurt as much as it did. Every time it finally started to look like she and John might get past the awkwardness they'd developed around each other on this base, one of them decided to take some distance again. Much as she tried not to let it get to her, she couldn't help but feel frustrated with the situation.

Maybe, she thought sadly, they couldn't uphold a proper conversation without standing on a balcony that was surrounded by nothing but sky and ocean.

No, she was being ridiculous. This was John, and she knew that she could talk to him anywhere.

"No, I don't want you to forget what I've said." Her commanding officer gave her a pained look. "I only wish I hadn't bothered you with my issues in the first place. But I guess it's too late for that now, er?"

Elizabeth didn't even bother to nod.

John took a deep breath. "Look, I wasn't trying to offend you," he said needlessly. "I just wanted to apologize for bothering you." He no longer looked excited, and she felt the sudden need to say something to make him smile again. Though she had to admit that John's face was always easy on the eyes, she preferred his smiling face over his other expression – and John could wear _a lot_ of different masks, of that she'd seen more than enough evidence by now.

"Don't be," she told him. "I'm glad you let me in on your thoughts last night." And she hadn't even come close to scratching the surface of what was going on inside his head. For one, John had refused to talk about the woman he'd mentioned, and he hadn't told her what it was that was keeping him up at night. In return, she hadn't really opened up to him as well. Still, they'd talked about some, mostly work-related, things that were bothering them, and for that she was glad. She knew John pretty well, but she didn't know much _about_ him. She didn't know what drove him, and knowing what he was thinking made her feel like she did, if only just a little.

John didn't look convinced, but seemed to be willing to let the matter drop. "Are you on your way to the Mess?" he asked casually.

Elizabeth sighed. "I guess I am. It's ironic, isn't it? I spent an entire year thinking dreaming of all the delicious things to eat on Earth, but I've only eaten more military rations since I got back here." She thought about that for a second. "No wait, that's not entirely true. I did have some amazing food a few days ago." She gave him a meaningful look.

John was silent for a moment. Then, "I could drive you over to the nearest cafeteria." He pointed at her with one of his sticks. "You look like you could use some real food." His gaze critically wandered down her body, and she raised an eyebrow at him. "And I could use some time away from this base," he continued, not the least bit embarrassed at getting caught staring at his boss' body. "I think I'm starting to understand why you dislike this place so much" He waved one of his sticks around, as if to further indicate what he meant by 'this place', and she cringed as the wood hit the wall.

The waving had been entirely unnecessary. Elizabeth didn't need to look around to know what he meant. She decided to ignore the comment about her posture, and gave him a tentative smile. "I would love to get out of here for a while." They would have to be cautious again, because things hadn't changed much since they'd first decided it was better not to be seen hanging out together after work. Still, over the past few days, there hadn't been a moment to go by without her thinking back on their day shopping together, and she'd come to realize she rather liked spending time with John out of work.

John beamed. "Judging from the way people reacted to my presence on my way here, I think I'm going to need a shower before we leave. How about we meet in the parking lot in about," he glanced at his watch, "fifteen minutes? Don't bring your purse," he warned, pointing a stick in her direction. "I'm paying."

Elizabeth sent him a smile and turned on her feet. She hadn't replied to that last comment, and she'd done so on purpose. Of course she was paying for her own meal. She wouldn't be surprised if she got paid more than John did.

Her military commander had looked a bit pale, even though his cheeks had been flushed from the exercise. Elizabeth guessed the paleness of his face was due to a lack of sunlight, which was all the more reason to spend some time on the surface. She knew that John was used to military bases, but she also knew that he was a pilot by heart – and it seemed almost cruel to keep a pilot locked up underground. A pilot needed to breathe in fresh air, be able to look at the sky. She knew there was a reason why John could often be found on balconies on Atlantis.

It would be nice to see John out in the open again, Elizabeth mused, as she reached her quarters. She also suspected the chances of seeing John smile were higher outside the base. She knew he had been thrust into a leadership position against his will, but he'd grown used to being in charge on Atlantis. Being around superiors seemed to unnerve him, and understandably so.

She opened the door to her quarters and stepped inside. A change of clothes wasn't necessary, but she would need her jacket later tonight, and she needed to grab her bag as well.

She checked whether her purse was in her bag, and sat on her bed for a moment. Feeling restless, she decided to go to her car. She was going to have to wait for John no matter what, and she'd rather do that sitting in her car than in an underground chamber.

oOo

Elizabeth didn't meet anyone she knew on her way to the elevator, and for that she was grateful. For a moment, she'd imagined running into Rodney. She liked the scientist, but it would have been downright disappointing to have him come along again. The urge to be alone with John should frighten her; yet it didn't.

She had given up on lying to herself. She could sound convincing in negotiations, and her words sounded believable to her own ears most of the time, but convincing herself of something she didn't believe in was a lost cause. She usually saw right through her own lame attempts at reasoning.

She liked John and she liked interacting with him. There was never wrong with that. They were both human beings, and human beings needed social contact.

With that thought in mind, Elizabeth stepped out of the elevator. She had to identify herself three times before she was allowed to leave the base. Considering the great amount of alien entities that had taken over the SGC in the past, the standard procedure was understandable. Considering Elizabeth's need to get outside, the standard procedure was annoying as hell.

_Annoying as hell._ Those three words sounded awfully familiar… She thought she'd never used the phrase before coming to Atlantis – not even in her thoughts – but she couldn't be sure.

oOo

It did not take long for her military commander to join her. She'd barely sat in her car for ten minutes when John appeared in her rear-view mirror. Smiling, Elizabeth moved over to the passenger seat. She enjoyed riding shotgun with John behind the wheel – or the controls. John's driving capabilities never ceased to amaze her.

John's hair stuck out in every possible direction, instead of being plastered to his head like wet hair ought to be. The dark locks appeared to be as stubborn as the man underneath them. Elizabeth decided his hair suited him. Of course, she'd known for almost a year now that she liked John's hair a lot. It seemed she was developing a preference for short hair. Simon's hair had grown over the past year, and she hadn't liked it one bit.

"Are you ready for some food worth eating?" John asked, as he started the engine and slowly pulled out of the parking lot. He seemed perfectly at ease behind the wheel, and Elizabeth allowed herself to sink back in her seat.

"Certainly," she replied. She spared a look sideways and frowned as a water droplet slowly made its way down John's neck. He hadn't towelled his hair; that just figured. She wondered if he ever spent any attention on his hair.

The droplet slid lower and Elizabeth stared at it, completely mesmerized. When it was about to disappear underneath John's shirt, she reached out without thinking and swept it away.

John didn't crash the car into the vehicle in front of him. Apparently, his reflexes were less amazing than hers. Or he just had a way of controlling them better.

Elizabeth quickly wiped her hand off on her pants and was happy to note that the Major hadn't taken his attention off the road. He truly was a capable driver.

Elizabeth studied John out of the corner of her eye. He was smiling and she fought the urge to smack him in the head. She'd never considered smacking someone in the head, what was wrong with her these days? Maybe John was rubbing off on her, what with his habit of playfully smacking Rodney every now and then.

"John, do you trust me?" she found herself asking. The question came out of nowhere, but apparently, she'd been dwelling on it subconsciously, because she didn't even flinch at speaking it out loud.

John frowned. "You know the answer to that."

Elizabeth regarded him silently for a while. "I thought I did," she said softly. "But now I find myself wondering whether you actually trust _me_. I know you've come to trust my decisions – mostly," - because the nanite-incident had shown that he preferred to rely on his own instincts - "but do you trust me as a person?"

John took a deep breath. "You do know you're essentially switching the tables, right? Last night, I asked you the same thing."

Elizabeth nodded. Maybe that was the reason why she'd been dwelling on the question. "But if you want me to trust you, I need to know if you can trust me."

"This is ridiculous. We know we trust each other."

"Enough to talk about our feelings?" Elizabeth asked. She'd come to realize that she depended on her CO when it came to work, but did she trust him with her secrets and fears as well? Last night, she hadn't felt the need to expose her most private thoughts to him. What did that say about the two of them?

They passed a nice-looking restaurant, but John drove past it. Apparently, he found this situation just as important as she did.

"I'm not much of a talker," he finally said.

Elizabeth leaned forward in her seat. "I already know that. But if it came down to it, would you talk to me?"

"Why would it come down to anything?" John asked dismissively.

She wasn't exactly sure. "Well, last night you tried to get me to talk to yo-"

"I thought you weren't coping," John interrupted her. He looked in the rear-view mirror, and turned left smoothly. "I thought I'd give you an opportunity to talk. It doesn't necessarily have to be _me_ on the receiving end."

Elizabeth closed her mouth shut. "It doesn't mean anything to you, then?" she asked, after a while.

"I didn't say that."

Elizabeth couldn't believe it. She'd obviously misunderstood John's intentions, and it's wasn't necessarily wrong to be wrong… but it hurt. It hurt her to know that he hadn't wanted her to talk to _him_ specifically.

"I guess there's no purpose in continuing this conversation then," she said. She turned her head to look out the window, and purposely avoided looking at John.

When it came down to it… What could it come down to? What had she meant by that? No wonder John thought she wasn't coping. She didn't even understand her own thoughts these days.

When would they have to be completely honest with each other?

When it came to work, of course - and when it came to depending on one another.

With a start, Elizabeth realized something, something she'd not dared think about until now, something she'd been careful not to think about until this very moment.

She wanted… no, she _needed_ to be able to depend on John. She wanted to be with John, and to depend on him. The last couple of days specifically had taught her she felt better in his presence. The thought that he might be forced to remain on Earth scared her more than it should.

She wanted to be near John, near her Head of Military. She didn't just want to be with John; she _needed_ to be with John.

Be with him in every possible way.

_Now that I know what I'm without,  
You can't just leave me.  
Breathe into me and make me real.  
Bring me to life._

TBC…


	8. Chapter 8

**AN:** Thanks for the encouraging reviews.

**Down to Earth**

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
__Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
__Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
__I somehow find  
__You and I collide_

They remained silent for what seemed like hours to Elizabeth, but she knew it had only been several minutes when John finally pulled into a parking spot beside the first nice–looking restaurant they encountered.

Elizabeth got out of the car without a word. She didn't want to face John, because she was afraid he would notice that her eyes were red. She hadn't actually cried, but keeping the tears from rolling down her cheeks had taken some painful squeezing. As they walked over to the entrance, she nonchalantly wiped her hand over her face, pretending there was something in her eye.

They sat down at a table beside the window. Elizabeth hadn't even had a chance to shrug off her jacket when the waitress came over to their table to take their orders.

"Good afternoon," the waitress said pleasantly, directing her words at John. "How can I help you?"

John spared a glance at the unopened menu card, and raised a questioning eyebrow at Elizabeth. Elizabeth was too busy fighting the desire to scowl at the waitress – who wasn't even _trying_ to hide the fact that she was checking John out – to react immediately. It took her a few seconds to compose herself. Then, she slowly shook her head at him. She wasn't ready to order anything yet.

"Could you give us a minute?" John asked politely, already shoving the menu in Elizabeth's direction.

"Of course. Can I get you something to drink?" The woman stepped a little closer to John and Elizabeth had to remind herself that she had no right to object to the woman's petty behaviour, unless John showed any sign of discomfort himself.

"One coffee," John stated. He shifted in his seat and Elizabeth was pleased to note he'd put a larger distance between him and the waitress.

The waitress reluctantly turned her attention to Elizabeth. She was pretty, Elizabeth noted. Of course, the woman had nothing on Chaya or Teyla – two women John had shown preferences for in the past – but she could still be called attractive. Elizabeth comforted herself with the thought that John had shifted away from her.

"I'll have a tea," Elizabeth told the blond woman.

The waitress nodded and walked away, swaying with her hips as she did so.

Elizabeth looked down at the table.

John chose that moment to clear his throat. "Look, I didn't mean to offend you."

Elizabeth didn't stop studying the carvings of the wood. "It's all right, John, don't apologize for speaking your mind." She couldn't very well be mad at him for showing no particular interest in her. At the very least, he had tried to help her deal with her inner demons and that had been a warm gesture.

A gesture of friendship.

She'd found out about her feelings for John only minutes ago, but Elizabeth was already contemplating the situation thoroughly. It was obvious she would have to keep quiet about her realization. Even if John loved her back – which was a pretty big _if_ – they would never be able to act on their feelings because of their working relationship.

Elizabeth looked at the cars passing by. The endless stream reminded her of her own life. No matter what, she always kept moving forward. She couldn't afford to take a break and she would never be able to give in to what she truly wanted. She just went on and on and on and on and…

John leaned forward and briefly touched her hand. She raised her gaze, startled.

When things were hectic on Atlantis, John would take her outside to their balcony, to stare at the ocean or talk about nothing in particular. He was the one who made her pause every once in a while. Even this one motion, the brief touch of his hand to hers, had stopped her train of thought.

John was the one who could slow her down.

"When I asked you to join me for lunch, I wanted to help you relax," John said, genuine concern visible on his face. "And I wanted the chance to dine with you without having to witnesses Rodney's eating manners at the same time," he added, in an attempt to make her smile.

It worked. A little bit.

"We should be enjoying ourselves," he went on, spreading his arms and nodding in the direction of the counter. "We're sitting in the daylight, there's real food in our future, and we're spending some time off–base." He gave her a meaningful look.

"You're right," Elizabeth said, folding her hands in her lap and raising her chin. "I am sorry for ruining the mood." The small wrinkles around John's eyes disappeared and he shot her a grateful smile.

They fell into silence again, but it was a more comfortable silence than the one they'd had to endure in the car. Obviously, things were not going to be the way the last time they'd gone for lunch, but Elizabeth suspected that that one day had been so wonderful that she would never get the chance to experience anything like it, especially if she tried too hard. Light and carefree moods couldn't be forced.

Elizabeth busied herself looking at the menu and had a difficult time picking out something healthy. She noticed John was studying the back of the card from the other side of the table and she teasingly dropped the menu on the wooden surface, never moving her gaze from the long list of burgers and fries.

At first she thought John wasn't going to react, but then the menu was snatched away from underneath her gaze.

Elizabeth looked up and stared right into the grinning face of the military leader of Atlantis. "John," she warned.

He playfully waved the menu in her direction and proceeded to get a good look at it himself.

"Give it back," she tried in her best commanding voice.

"Nope," he said solemnly. He raised his gaze to look at her and shrugged. "I'm strategizing. The menu is our last line of defence." Noting her sceptical look, he went on. "I'm just taking precautions in case Rodney shows up." He focused his attention on the list of burgers again.

Elizabeth snorted. "It didn't do you much good last time."

John dropped the menu on the table and stretched his arms. "You're right. Well, it's no use looking at a menu if it doesn't help me defend myself against one Rodney McKay. I'll just order dry bread and a glass of water."

"You already ordered coffee," Elizabeth pointed out as she quickly snatched the menu from the table. "And I will order something for you if you wish."

The fact that she couldn't resist John's grinning face made it impossible for her to sound the least bit reprimanding and she cursed the fact that she had no control over her facial features. Whenever he smiled, she did, too. That was something she'd learned only shortly after coming to Atlantis.

You're hopeless, Elizabeth, she scolded herself.

The blond waitress appeared next to their table again. She must have hurriedly made her way over, because Elizabeth had not detected her approach.

"We would like two veggie sandwiches," Elizabeth said, before the woman could say anything.

"And French fries," John added hastily. Elizabeth glared at him.

The waitress wrote down their order and leaned forward to pick up the menu, making it almost impossible for John _not _to look at certain areas. She sent him a smile and walked away with a smug smile on her face.

"French fries?" Elizabeth couldn't help but utter. Dear God, the man was impossible. There was no denying it – he was worse than a child throwing candy in his mother's trolley when her attention is focused elsewhere.

John shot her an apologetic look. "We only get so many chances to eat some decent snacks. In a few weeks, we _could_ be on our way back to Pegasus."

While Elizabeth was glad that he didn't lie to her about his assumption that he might not be allowed to return to Pegasus, she also hated knowing that he hadn't found her arguments convincing.

"You won't get many chances at eating veggie sandwiches either," she reminded John.

Elizabeth desperately fought to fight down the annoyed expression that appeared on her face when the waitress brought them their drinks a few moments later. She failed spectacularly. Closing her eyes, she prayed John wouldn't notice her odd behaviour. It wasn't like her to scowl at people who hadn't tried to kill her people. She couldn't remember the last time she'd acted this childish.

Fortunately, John kept his attention focused on the table and he only raised his gaze when the blonde was gone. "What?" he asked eventually, having noticed Elizabeth's satisfied smile.

"Nothing," Elizabeth said quickly, grabbing her mug for something to hold onto. "It's just that usually, you don't seem to mind the attention."

John raised his chin. "Oh, I see. McKay's rubbing off on you. How many times do I have to remind him that I've only shown a little interest in one Alien priestess? _One." _He was silent for a moment. "Besides, McKay's been hitting on women as well. Remember Allina, the one who ended up stealing our ZPM?"

Elizabeth nodded. "It wasn't our ZPM," she couldn't help but point out.

She couldn't deny that John had indeed only flirted with one woman in her presence. Maybe she _had_ been swayed by Rodney's ramblings, but really, it was hard to shut the man out – especially since he tended to talk about important matters. The man hardly ever kept his mouth shut.

"It could have been," John said, taking a careful sip of his coffee.

Elizabeth watched as he pulled a face and put down his mug again. "That bad?"

John shook his head. "I wouldn't know. My taste buds got burnt to death."

Elizabeth smiled. John had a slightly offended expression on his face and she thought he looked adorable.

Eyeing the heat still radiating from her mug, she decided she wasn't going to drink her tea anytime soon. She stared at John for a moment, before realizing what she was doing and reluctantly pulling her gaze away from his face. She could relate to the waitress. She contented herself with the thought that she didn't just like John for his looks – though he was certainly easy on the eyes. No, what she liked most about him was his sparkling personality and though she didn't know much about his past, she _did_ know that he cared about people and that he would do anything for those under his command.

No, she mentally corrected herself; he would do anything for anyone who needed his help. He'd tried to help entire civilisations in the time she'd known him. John was a soldier capable of compassion and Elizabeth admired him for that. She knew many people on Atlantis felt the same way.

Fortunately, they didn't think _exactly_ the same, because she didn't think she could handle the headaches that would come with resenting her own people in secret.

If only John felt the same about her, Elizabeth…

She shook her head, stupidly hoping it would help clear it. She had just broken up with someone, how was it that she was already pondering her next relationship? A relationship that could – and would – never be? If she truly respected John, she would put these thoughts away _right now_ because they didn't belong in her mind. They belonged in the head of someone who could love him openly and give him what he needed.

"I have an excellent idea," John suddenly exclaimed, attracting the attention of several people sitting at tables near theirs. Elizabeth ducked her head low, making a point of ignoring them.

"Do you remember that cinema we saw when we went shopping?" John asked. Elizabeth's gaze snapped up to meet his. His eyes were twinkling and she found herself staring again. This time, however, she didn't stop herself.

"Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth snapped out of her thoughts and cleared her throat. "Yes?"

John seemed to take her incoherent reaction as an answer to his question. "We said we'd remember the place if we ever got bored again. Well, I don't know about you, but…" he leaned forward, "even the Gym is starting to look dull these days. I'd say I'm right at the point where you could call me bored."

_Oh no…_

"I'm not sure…" Elizabeth began.

"Oh come on, I haven't seen a good movie in twelve months," John went on, sending her his – no, no, no, _no_ – puppy look. She practically melted away under his gaze. "It'll be fun," he promised.

Elizabeth sighed. "I suppose I don't have other plans tonight," she admitted, suddenly wishing the waitress would come back. Where were the pretty women when you needed them?

John leaned back in his chair. "Great!"

Elizabeth nodded, smiling tightly. She could do this. She was going to ignore the feelings she had for John. She was simply going to watch a movie with a valued co–worker and friend. It was time to start acting like the professional she was.

If only John would stop making that so difficult.

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
__Even the stars refuse to shine  
__Out of the back you fall in time  
__I somehow find  
__You and I collide_

TBC…


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: **The dialogue in the first scene is from the season two episode Intruder - I sincerely hope I won't get sent to prison for posting it. Let's throw a disclaimer in, just to be on the safe side. I don't own Stargate Atlantis. I wish I did.

Thanks for the reviews. To the shippers out there: we're getting to the good part now. Thanks for your patience!

**Down to Earth**

"I understand the International Committee had approved a significant increase in personnel and resources for the Atlantis mission." General Landry read from Elizabeth's report.

They were seated in the briefing room at the SGC. Elizabeth had been called in this morning to discuss sending new resources to Atlantis. She had to admit she'd been a bit surprised when she entered the room and saw no civilians there, only military officers. At the very least, she would have expected Daniel Jackson or Sam Carter to be there.

Elizabeth nodded in answer to the General's question. "Now that we have a ZPM, the city can support a much larger contingent." She directed her words directly at General Landry, whom she felt she could best relate to. The other officers present were critically eyeing her from the other side of the briefing room table. Elizabeth was well aware most of these man thought the head of the expedition should be military.

The General, however, was in command of the SGC, and having been in that position herself, Elizabeth suspected she could talk to the man openly. So far the General had treated her respectfully, which made the briefings a lot easier.

Colonel Caldwell leaned forward. "Of course, it's our feeling that a corresponding increase in military presence would also be prudent."

Weir spared the Colonel a look. "I agree." She turned her head to look at the General again. "That's why I wanted Major Sheppard to come back with me." She didn't miss the glance that was exchanged between Landry and Caldwell. "In fact, I brought all of my senior staff back. I think it's only fair that they participate in the selection process of the new personnel in their respective departments."

Landry came to his feet. "That's kind of what we wanted to talk to you about," he began, and Elizabeth prepared herself for the speech she'd been expecting, even though she'd sincerely hoped this particular topic wouldn't come up. Landry made his way over to the coffee machine. "In your report, you singled Major Sheppard out for a lot of credit," he continued from across the room.

"That's right." Elizabeth didn't quite understand where the man was going with this.

Landry calmly filled himself a cup of coffee. "You were also candid enough to document several occasions on which you and the Major didn't exactly see eye to eye." He walked back to the table, but didn't sit back down again. "In particular, there was an incident involving an alien Nano-virus in which Major Sheppard directly disobeyed one of your orders."

Elizabeth refused to be intimidated by the man looking down at her. She gave the general a long and hard stare. "He also saved a lot of lives that day."

Landry waved away her objection. "The Major's courage and ingenuity are not in question here." He started on a round around the table. "His ability to follow the proper chain of command _is_." He came to a halt behind Colonel Caldwell.

Clearly, Elizabeth had overestimated the General's loyalty to her point of view. Having been used to John's way of handling things for a year, Elizabeth had forgotten how strict officers could get when it came to the chain of command. Of course, having had to deal with Bates on a daily basis had made for good exercise.

Still, the chain of command was not something that concerned her at the moment. She was with these men up to a point. She, too, wanted John to obey her orders, but that was a matter between her and her second in command. The way Elizabeth saw it, respect and trust should be the reason to follow one's orders. Where there was no trust; there was no obedient follower.

"I'm not military, General," she told the older man, pointedly ignoring everyone else in the room, because she knew that their reactions to this statement would only upset her further. She leaned back in her chair.

"But you are the leader of the expedition," Colonel Caldwell piped in.

Elizabeth had been genuinely grateful to the man, because he'd been the one to save John from certain death – and he'd done what he could to help them save Atlantis, but he was rapidly losing points for that now.

General Landry stepped in again. "You see, Doctor, from our point of view, Major Sheppard's independent nature poses a bit of a problem. If he could disobey you, he may see fit to do the same to the new commander of the military contingent on Atlantis."

There, he'd voiced John's fears without knowing it. Elizabeth wanted to bang the heads of these men together, particularly the ones of the men who had spoken up so far. They were giving her pointed expressions, and she couldn't stand their obvious contentment with the situation.

"Excuse me? And when did this happen?" The fact that they wanted to replace John aside, she _was_ the head of Atlantis, and should have been made aware of their intentions for the Ancient city much sooner.

Landry shrugged lightly. "Of course, the decision hasn't been made yet."

Well, that was something. As soon as this meeting was over, she would call the President and tell him what she thought of the latest turn of events. Elizabeth would _not _stand by and watch how a strict Colonel made himself comfortable in John's office. Well, to be fair – the office _should_ be given to someone who made good use of it, because John rarely ever used it. But that was beside the point. Elizabeth didn't think she could deal with having someone else by her side at this point, because she'd grown so used to the man who was already there.

She loved the man who was already there. Granted, she could never act on her feelings, but she would be damned if she would let these men take John away from her. He belonged in Atlantis. The city needed him. _She_ needed him.

"But we do have a candidate in mind," the General continued. He looked down at Colonel Caldwell, who tilted his head at Elizabeth.

Elizabeth raised a disrespectful eyebrow at Caldwell, not caring about the consequences. "Atlantis _has_ a military commander." The city had no need for Caldwell's way of handling things. In all honesty, she'd seen the man in action – and he'd done a find job, but at the end of the day, he still was no John. No one was, and no one came even close. Therefore, there would be no replacement. Not ever. Not while she was in charge of Atlantis.

Of course, Landry didn't give her the satisfaction of winning an argument. "You _had_ a military commander – Colonel Sumner." He started walking again. Didn't the man ever sit down during a briefing? "When he was killed, Major Sheppard correctly assumed the position until a proper replacement could be brought in…" He stopped there, and Elizabeth waited for him to continue, but Caldwell beat the General to it.

"Doctor, you can't be suggesting that a mission of this importance be trusted to a Major, and one with a questionable record at that." He looked sure of himself, obviously thinking he'd made her see reason. Well, the Wraith would start eating vegetables before that happened.

"Major Sheppard's record before he joined my team doesn't concern me," Elizabeth stated loudly. She wanted to make sure everyone got her point. They could think of her bureaucratic ways all they wanted; their opinions regarding her didn't matter. However, she was going to make them change their opinion about John, she would make certain of it. "All I can tell you is that if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be sitting here right now. And as for his rank," she added, remembering Caldwell's last comment, "if that's not good enough for you, you're just going to have to promote him." The General was John's superior. She was certain he was capable of performing such an action.

Landry didn't look convinced. "Doctor…"

Elizabeth interrupted him as she came to her feet. "I shouldn't have to remind you gentlemen that I continue to have the support of the President and our foreign allies." She smiled sweetly at the General, because it was obvious her remark had come through. "You don't want to fight me on this one."

With that, she walked out of the room, without looking back.

oOo

She really shouldn't have been surprised to see John leaning against the wall when she came out of the briefing room.

"And? How did it go?" He asked, searching his pockets for something.

Elizabeth had to think about that for a moment. "It went." She was debating whether or not to tell John about the conversation she'd just had, but decided against it when John held up a bar of chocolate with a small smile on his face. He was in a good mood, and she didn't want to ruin it. Nor did she want to confirm his suspicions regarding his superior's thoughts about him.

"I figured you'd need something to cheer you up," John elaborated, throwing her the bar. "I don't envy you. Having been through three of those meetings myself, I can't believe you just talked your way through your twelfth one. I would have died and gone to Lala-land by now." He reached out and patted her shoulder. "I suppose it's a good thing you're good at the talking thing, because Atlantis wouldn't be the same without you."

He gave her a pointed look.

Elizabeth wasn't sure how to respond. John saved her the trouble of coming up with something nice. "I promised Mitchell I'd meet him at the Gym. So..."

"Go," Elizabeth told him.

John nodded slowly. "I guess I'll see you around." With that, he walked away.

Elizabeth stared at his retreating back for a second, and then focused her attention on the chocolate bar she was holding. Leave it to John to find her the one she liked best. She tore open the wrapper and took a small bite. She hadn't had lunch yet, and up until now she hadn't even realized she'd been craving some food.

Shaking her head, Elizabeth made her way out of the hallway. She was positive she'd won the fight over Atlantis' command, but she didn't feel like facing one of those men alone outside the briefing room.

oOo

Looking back at the briefing earlier today, Elizabeth wasn't sure whether going out with her second in command was the wisest thing to do, but she didn't want to let John down. He'd been so exited about going to a cinema again. Plus, after the things she heard earlier today, she felt the need to make things up to him, even though she hadn't been the one to think badly about him.

She _had_ taken the necessary precautions, however. Knowing that being caught while she and her CO sneaked out of the base at night would definitely undo the accomplishments she'd made in the briefing room, she'd suggested they leave the base separately.

Thus, John had disappeared shortly before dinner, telling anyone who would listen he was growing tired of the military rations, which was very close to the truth. Elizabeth had noticed John's smile grow wider when she'd suggested he leave before dinner time. He was going to face a hard time when he was back on Atlantis. Much as the kitchen staff tried to make their meals eatable, their food was a far cry from the things you could get on Earth.

Elizabeth looked at her watch. It was still too early. She'd been checking the time every two minutes for over an hour now, but the minutes continued to creep by slowly.

Sighing, she came to her feet and grabbed her jacket. Telling herself she couldn't afford to get stuck in traffic, she made her way out of her room. John would be waiting for her at the cinema, and that was where she was going.

oOo

"You got me popcorn?" Elizabeth exclaimed, staring at the two large boxes in John's arms. She didn't think she'd be able to carry one of those, despite the exercises John had forced her to endure. The work-outs hadn't had the effect she'd hoped. Her muscles were as impressive as they were before she went to Pegasus. In fact, if you didn't know what the human body looked like from the inside, you'd probably think she had no muscles at all.

John nodded. "Yeah, I didn't know whether you'd get here in time." He handed her one box and Elizabeth took it with both arms. She was relieved to see that there wasn't any butter on top. She hated sticky fingers. John's portion did come with a lot of butter, so it wasn't just a lucky guess. She was flattered.

"Thank you." She nodded in the direction of the entrance. "Shall we?"

"Sure, that's what we're here for." John's eyes were twinkling.

"Did you get tickets as well?" Elizabeth asked, just to be certain. It would be just like John to get popcorn, but forget about the entrance tickets.

The look John threw her reminded her of the way Rodney looked at co-workers who dared make suggestions, and she couldn't help but giggle.

John gave her a weird look. She shrugged innocently, not feeling the need to elaborate. She wasn't going to mention Rodney now, that would bring up some awkward memories. Of course, there was also the fact that John didn't like being compared to the head of science. Elizabeth had to admit that they were nothing alike, but that certainly didn't stop them from acting equally as childish whenever they were together.

"Did you make sure you weren't followed?" John joked, when they'd finally found two empty seats.

Elizabeth gave him a stern look. "John, you know as well as I do that I was right to take precautions." Especially after the way she'd fought for him during the briefing. She didn't think the General would react well if he found out about her going to movies with the Major. He would no doubt question her reasons for wanting John to remain the head of military.

The lights were turned off, and Elizabeth unconsciously scooted a little closer to John. If he noticed, he didn't give any indication. He didn't move away either, which was a good sign. Elizabeth knew this wasn't going to be a scary movie, but she hated dark places. Having John close to her made her feel safe.

They were about halfway through the movie when something touched her hand.

Elizabeth looked down, startled. In the faint light, she could only just make out the shape of John's hand laying on her arm rest. A look at his face proved her suspicions to be true: he'd done so subconsciously.

She knew she should pull her hand away, but a little voice inside her head told her to stay still. Obviously, John wasn't having any problems with the situation, and neither was she. John's hand felt warm to the touch, and having him so close to her made something flutter inside her stomach. In the daylight, she couldn't afford to let John affect her like this. But it was dark, and there was no one near to notice her silly behaviour.

So Elizabeth kept her hand laying on her arm rest. She was pretty sure she wasn't trembling, but she wasn't a good judge of her own actions at the moment, so she couldn't be sure. She tried to put her mind at rest by telling herself that John would notice if she _was_ shaking. He'd probably think she was either getting sick or having an allergic reaction, and act on his concerns. The man worried too much.

Just when she was about to grab some popcorn with her free hand, John's hand casually moved over hers, not quite trapping it; merely covering it in a gentle manner.

Elizabeth froze.

She didn't dare look at John, didn't dare move at all. Heat was flowing through her body and she was too busy trying to keep her breathing in check to get mad at herself for overreacting.

The rest of the movie was pretty much lost on her. All she could do was sit there and be caught up in the moment. She didn't even know whether her eyes were open or not, all she cared about was the hand that was covering hers, and who it belonged to.

She was doomed.

And enjoying every second if it.

TBC...


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: **Thanks for the positive reviews on the last chapter. Don't worry, everything's going to become less frustrating soon ^_^ Thanks for reading this story and enjoy the sparkiness in this chapter.

**Down to Earth**

The moment the credits started rolling, John's hand moved away from hers.

Elizabeth let out a small breath and slowly stretched her fingers, because they felt a bit stiff. The warmth of John's touch lingered on her skin, and she stared at her hand in amazement. It still looked the same on the outside, but she was sure that on the inside, it would never be the same again. The feel of John's hand on hers was nothing like the hug they shared a few weeks ago. Back then, she was so relieved to see him alive and well, she did the first thing that came to mind upon seeing him. The moment had passed quickly, and they had bigger things to worry about at the time.

The last hour, however, was _not_ lost on Elizabeth. She'd printed every single second into her mind, and the only reason she knew she hadn't stopped breathing throughout the whole ordeal was the fact that she hadn't fainted.

John had grabbed her hand.

"Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth snapped out of her thoughts. She focused her attention on John's face. He was looking at her strangely.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" she asked.

John immediately looked the other way. He even shifted away from her in his seat. "Did you... like the movie?" he asked nonchalantly.

Elizabeth mentally slapped herself. "Yes." She tried to remember the names of the two main characters, but failed spectacularly. Much as she liked to watch feel good movies, the real world meant a whole lot more to her. For example, the things that were going on in her life right now where more interesting than any movie she'd ever seen. "Did you?"

John shrugged. "It was okay, I guess." He shot her a careful grin. "I've seen worse."

People around them were starting to get up, and Elizabeth slowly came to her feet as well. Against all expectations, she'd eaten most of her popcorn and, as expected, John's box was completely empty. She briefly wondered where his popcorn had gone, because the contents of the box certainly didn't fit inside his stomach. John's belly was too flat for that. Then again, the man exercised a lot, and it probably didn't matter what he ate.

John got up. He still looked a bit nervous, and Elizabeth realized she must have a similar expression on her face, because she felt like a clumsy teenager on their first date and there was nothing she could do to regain her posture. She was positive she'd start shaking the moment she tried.

Still, it was strange to see the most self-confident man she'd ever known, except maybe for one Rodney McKay, wear a similar expression. Was John thinking about his hand, too? She doubted it. Her commander officer was probably thinking about something else, the men he'd lost or the threat they were going to face the moment they got back to Atlantis.

Or _was_he thinking about his earlier actions? If he was, she was sure that was a bad sign. Elizabeth knew John wasn't the Kirk Rodney made him out to be, but she had seen him in action with Chaya. Her CO's feelings for the Ancient woman had been very clear to them all, because he'd done nothing to hide them. She knew enough about John to know that if he liked a woman, he didn't hesitate to let her know.

Did John regret grabbing her hand? It would explain the nervousness. John was courtly enough not to want to hurt her feelings, and he probably noticed her red cheeks the moment the lights went on. Maybe he was thinking about a way to let her down nicely. It wasn't his fault she couldn't keep her feelings in check.

"Shall we?" She nonchalantly waved in the direction of the exit. People were already starting to make their way out of the room.

After a second, John nodded. "Sure."

They were quiet during their walk back to the car. Elizabeth didn't know what to say, and John didn't talk. She could only guess what was going on inside his head. Sometimes she wished she could read minds, because that would make complicated situations like this so much easier.

As far as John was concerned, they were friends. And who was she fooling? Two days ago, she felt the same way.

She only wished that knowledge would make the pain inside her chest go away.

oOo

John reached the car before Elizabeth did. Instead of opening the door to the driver seat, he turned around to face her. She startled.

"Did I make you uncomfortable?" he asked, concern visible in his hazel eyes.

Elizabeth's mind was so busy trying to grasp how he could possibly make her uncomfortable, that she couldn't form a coherent answer right away. "Er..." was all that came out of her mouth.

John nodded shortly. "I'm sorry." He turned around and got in the car.

Elizabeth processed this action a lot faster, and took a step forward without thinking. "John?"

John's gaze didn't meet hers. "I don't know what I was thinking," he told the wheel, all the while powering up the engine.

Elizabeth didn't understand what he was getting at. She did know one thing: they were going to get to the bottom of this. "What are you talking about?" She walked around the car and sat down in the passenger seat. He wasn't looking at her, and she fought the urge to grab his chin and make him turn his head toward her. Forcing John Sheppard into doing things he didn't want to never ended well. Kolya could confirm that.

"What is it that has you so concerned?" she tried again, fixing him with an intense glare.

John still refused to look at her. "It won't happen again," he said dismissively, and it was obvious he didn't want to continue the conversation.

Elizabeth wasn't ready to let the subject rest just yet. She frowned. "Are you talking about going to the cinema? Because quite frankly, _you're_ the one who convinced me to go." She was assuming he wasn't talking about eating popcorn or - suddenly, it hit her. "You meant holding my hand? Was the experience so horrible that you never want to do it again?"

That finally got him to meet her gaze. His head snapped up the moment the words left her mouth, and he looked so horrified she suspected he didn't even notice he was finally looking her in the eye. Or at least it didn't seem to bother him anymore.

"Why - why would you say that? Why would you _think_ that?"

Elizabeth inclined her head. John's behaviour over the past few minutes was indication enough he regretted his actions. John seemed to get that as well, because he pulled his gaze away and stared ahead for a while, before turning off the engine and studying his hands. "I shouldn't have grabbed your hand. I still don't know what I was thinking, or why I even acted on my stupid thoughts for that matter..." He was silent for a moment. Then, "I'm sorry for what happened. I just hope you can forget this ever happened, because I'm not sure that I can... I don't think that I can live with myself if I scared you away."

Elizabeth took a deep breath and shook her head, hoping the action would make the world start to make sense. Unsurprisingly, it didn't work. "John, why would I need to forget anything that happened tonight? Why - why did you grab my hand?" That wasn't the question she'd been about to ask, but she found herself curious. Obviously, he thought he shouldn't have grabbed her hand, which was true from a professional point of view, but still... Why had he even done it in the first place?

John let out a dry laugh. "I don't know. It felt right."

"Do you make it a point to grab someone by their hand when it feels right?" The question was idiotic, but she had to make a few things clear.

John's next words were spoken so quietly she had to lean a little bit closer to make them out. "Not someone... never just someone."

"Teyla?" Elizabeth mentally kicked herself. What was she doing? She'd picked up on the close relationship between the beautiful Athosian woman and her military commander months ago, but she'd never even considered bringing it up.

John frowned. "Elizabeth, did _you_ mind my grabbing your hand?"

Elizabeth sat back in her seat. She hadn't expected him to turn the tables. "No." Now it was her who refused to look him in the eye.

John regarded her silently for a moment. Then, she slowly shook his head. "No."

"What?" Elizabeth couldn't help but meet his gaze again.

"I never felt like grabbing Teyla's hand."

The relief that flooded through her felt surreal. It was childish to be jealous of the only female member on John's team, but Elizabeth had often wondered what she missed out on while the team were away. Hearing John admit he didn't have feelings for Teyla was the best thing she'd heard all day... year. No, that wasn't true. The best thing she'd heard had been his voice after she thought he was dead.

Realizing she had to say something, Elizabeth nodded. "Okay, so..." She trailed off, uncertainly searching his hazel eyes. He _had_ grabbed her hand, which meant... which had to mean... did it? She wanted to hear him say it, yet she was afraid the words would make her cry.

John opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again a second later. He, too, didn't seem to be able to find the proper words to be having this conversation.

Elizabeth couldn't ask him directly, but there was a reason she'd become a diplomat. "Knowing I didn't mind, would you do it again?"

In the dim light from the street lights she could just make out the careful grin that appeared on John's face. He didn't answer her question. Instead, he reached out and lightly placed his right hand on top of hers, giving it a brief squeeze before pulling his hand back, watching her face intently.

Elizabeth allowed herself to grin at him, too.

Having seen her reaction, John's grin turned into a disbelieving smile.

It would have been so easy to forget about everything else, to get lost in the hazel eyes looking at her, to let go of everything that plagued her mind. But there were thoughts stored away in her head, important matters that refused to be ignored. Elizabeth's grin disappeared altogether when she considered the situation. "John..."

John's grin fell from his face._ Don't_ his eyes seemed to plead, but she couldn't think of anything to reassure him. She met his gaze, hoping her eyes showed him everything she felt right now.

He nodded slowly, pulling his faze away from hers and staring out into the night.

Elizabeth closed her eyes. No words had been spoken, but she knew they were both thinking about the same thing. This unexpected turn of events had surprised them both, and the idea of their feelings being mutual was wonderful, but that still didn't change the positions they were in. She was his boss, and even though they hadn't had a proper talk about their feelings yet, they could never act on them. Their jobs prevented them from doing so.

It was frustrating and, most of all, it wasn't fair.

"I could quit."

Elizabeth gasped. "You don't mean that."

John was still looking out the windshield. He didn't say anything, but his defeated posture told her enough.

She lightly touched his shoulder. John immediately leaned into the touch, and they sat there for a while, staring out into the dark.

Never in her life had Elizabeth experienced a moment that was so bittersweet. And never had she even come close to experiencing something with someone so special.

TBC...


	11. Chapter 11

**A****N: **Remember I promised we'd be getting to the good part soon? Well, we are getting there. Have I thanked you for your patience yet?

**Down to Earth**

"Doctor Weir."

Elizabeth reluctantly turned around. She'd been about to enter the Mess, having spotted Daniel Jackson sitting alone at a table, and she really wanted to have a talk with the archaeologist. He should be ready with his translation of the Ancient tablet, and Elizabeth was curious to know what the tablet said.

She came face to face with Richard Woolsey, the face of the IOA in the SGC. She'd only met the man a few times in the past, and she liked him well enough, but having conversations with him that were non-work related wasn't high on her list of things to do.

"Mister Woolsey," she said, giving him a small nod. In all likeliness, hoping he was merely greeting her was wistful thinking.

Indeed, it was. "There are some things I'd like to discuss with you regarding Lt. Colonel Sheppard," Woolsey informed her, putting emphasis on John's new rank. She didn't like the way his eyebrows rose as he spoke the words. Clearly, the IOA had some reservations against John's being in command of Atlantis, too.

She suppressed the urge to sigh or, better yet, grab Woolseyby his tie and pull. The man was merely a representative of the IOA; she couldn't fault him for informing her about the organisation's onion. Besides, she knew very well that she wasn't annoyed by the negative reactions to John's promotion right now – though she definitely found the lack of trust in her head of military disturbing. No, what was really bothering her at the moment was that she and John hadn't had a proper talk since arriving at the SGA last night.

They'd sat in the car for about ten minutes more before John decided to start the engine again. No words had been spoken during the drive back to the base. Elizabeth had wanted to say and especially ask many things, but the timing hadn't felt right. Upon saying goodbye to her CO, she'd promised herself she'd track him down today and have a talk with him. Leaving last night's events for what they were was not an option. And she suspected that even though John didn't like talking about his feelings, he agreed.

"Right now?" she heard herself ask. She wasn't hungry, and so skipping on lunch would not be a big deal, but she had been hoping to catch John in the Mess. He certainly wouldn't bother showing his face here for the food, but he knew many of the marines and soldiers on the base, and the Mess and the Gym were the two places where you were most likely to run into your comrades.

Woolseyhastily shook his head. "No, I'd like you to come to General Landry's office in two hours. I'll be waiting for you there." Obviously, the man had gone to the General to obtain information about John's promotion. Elizabeth wasn't surprised by the Hank Landry's suggestion to have a meeting with her, but it would have been nice of the General to tell Woolsey to buck off.

Buck off... _John_. She'd come here to find John and have a talk with him.

Maybe she could get him to stop teaching her idiotic sayings while she was at it. _Buck off_. She sincerely hoped she would not be so foolish as to use those words in a negotiation.

Elizabeth watched Woolsey's retreating back. The man hadn't even said goodbye, merely nodded in her direction again and walked away. She briefly wondered how many times more she would have to defend John against TPTB before they understood just how important the man was to the welfare of the expedition.

While she had been talking to Woolsey, Doctor Jackson had been joined by the alien Vala.

Suddenly not feeling like sitting down at Dr. Jackson's table anymore, Elizabeth sat down at the table nearest to her and gave the startled scientist at the other side of the table a friendly nod before she opened her bag and pulled out a bottle of water. It had been in there for three days, but she suspected it would still be fresher than the water you could get at the counter.

oOo

For the first time today, Elizabeth felt satisfied.

Granted, she still hadn't spoken to John, but she'd given the IOA a run for their money – and she'd been pleasantly surprised when the General stood up for John during the meeting in his office. Apparently, Landry liked the Lt. Colonel well enough not to put him through a meeting with Woolseyhimself, and he'd told the man the matter was closed ten minutes into the conversation.

It was an achievement. Also, it was starting to look like John would definitely be going back Atlantis within a few weeks. Things would have to take a very strange turn should someone manage to get him to remain behind.

For the fifth time today, she checked her phone. There were no new messages, and she hadn't missed any calls. Sighing, Elizabeth put the cell phone back in her pocket, wondering where her CO could be. The Gym seemed like the most logical place for him to go, especially if he felt like hitting someone, which she knew she did.

The Gym was two levels down, and the nearest stairwell was a few corridors down from her position, so Elizabeth decided to use the elevator. It was becoming harder every day to convince herself that she hadn't grown used to the transporters on Atlantis. Strangely enough, she felt lazier taking the elevator than she did using the transporter. It had to have something to do with the fact that bridging an entire city every day would be a crazy thing to do – whereas going down a few levels by foot seemed quite manageable.

The elevator was empty, bar one marine, who gave her a stiff nod.

"Good afternoon," Elizabeth said, hating all the nods people sent each other around here. Sure, the gesture was friendly enough, but she was starting to get the impression the marines didn't know how to use their mouths.

When the elevator doors opened, she made a point of saying goodbye to the Marine and ignored the surprised look he sent her as she walked away.

She hadn't gone to the Gym once, but she knew John sought sanctuary there every day. Therefore, the place couldn't be any worse than the dark corridors outside the training room. The Gym on Atlantis was beautiful, of course, but then again, she couldn't think of any part of Atlantis that wasn't.

She entered the room where the people of the SGC exercised, eyebrows slightly raised. There were a lot of people here – and they weren't just military. The scientist she'd sat with during lunch was busy facing down a petite female soldier. The woman didn't seem to be afraid of the man, and Elizabeth allowed herself a small smile.

Her attention shifted to the two people behind the pair. One of them was Cameron Mitchell; a man she knew had gone down during the fight against Apophis' fleet. She was pleasantly surprised to see him back in action. From what she'd heard, a lot of good people had been badly injured that day.

The man Cameron Mitchell was fighting against was the man she'd been looking for. Both men held fighting sticks in their hands, and as she watched, Cam struck out at her military commander. John leaped to the side in time, and used his forward momentum to strike out and hit his fighting partner in the leg. Elizabeth hadn't gone to many training exercises, but she could swear that was a move he'd picked up from Teyla. Obviously, the Athosian's complaints about John's lazy attitude had not entirely been just.

She watched the two Lt. Colonels for a while, getting the impression they were head to head when it came to handling the sticks. She wondered if Teal'c had felt the need to teach the new leader of SG-1 a few things as well. From the looks of it, both men could handle themselves quite well with the bantos-sticks.

After having received a good knock in the head, John stumbled backward and raised his arms. "All right, all right – I'm calling it."

A wide grin appeared on Mitchell's sweaty face. "Are you sure? Sure felt like you'd go on forever." He took a deep breath and threw his sticks to the side, so that he could rest his now free hands on his knees.

John wasn't sweating nearly as much as his fighting partner, but his face had a red tint to it and she could see that his right arm was trembling with the effort of twirling one of his bantos-sticks around. "Yeah, pretty sure. I'm going to grab a shower." He gently poked Mitchell with a stick before making his way over to the exit.

Elizabeth quickly moved to block his path. "John."

John didn't seem surprised to see her. "Elizabeth," he stated.

She forced her eyes away from where his T-shirt clung to his chest and looked him directly in the eye. "I was thinking of going for a little walk," she said airily, well aware of the looks people were giving them. "Will you join me?"

John shrugged. "Sure." He threw his sticks to the side, and grinned at her raised eyebrows. "They're not mine."

That didn't explain why he'd just thrown them around like they were made of plastic, but Elizabeth had other things on her mind right now. She turned around and walked out of the Gym, glad to be rid of the attention. She didn't know many people on the base, but she was well aware of the reputation she had in the SGC. She had worked here for a brief period, after all, and leading an expedition to another galaxy was an act that caught attention, even in a place like this.

The corridor was empty, but Elizabeth chose to continue walking because she wanted to make certain no one would bump into them and overhear their conversation. Her quarters seemed like the most logical place to go, but they were a long way from reaching them – and she didn't think she could wait much longer. Patient as she could be, her heart felt like it was about to pop out of her chest anytime now. She had to put an end to her hopes; she couldn't afford to let this awkward way of interacting with her CO progress any further.

There was a storage room to her right, and Elizabeth acted on instinct. She pushed the handle down and stuck her head around the door, watching to see if the room was empty. It was, and she walked in, trusting on John to follow her. He did.

There were several peculiar artefactsand even more unimaginative black boxes stored in the little room. Elizabeth found a damaged chair to sit on and waited for John to settle on one of the boxes. She could only hope it didn't contain anything alien that turned people green.

"I think we have some things to discuss," she started, sounding a lot braver than she actually felt. She'd been looking forward to talking to John all day, but now that they were about to have a conversation, she felt more afraid than she cared to admit. She didn't want to push him away, not after the discovery she'd made last night.

John merely looked at her.

Elizabeth cleared her throat. "I think," she halted, searching for the right words. "I think you deserve to know that I have feelings for you, John." There, she'd said it. It was strange that, now that the words were out of her mouth, she felt the same way she did when she told Simon she wanted to break up with him. The situations were nothing alike, and yet – it felt like she was going through the same thing again: she was breaking up with someone. Only this time, she hadn't even had the chance to _be _with him. Once again, she was reminded of how much she loathed this situation. "Feelings I am not supposed to have,"

John´s intense glare sent shivers down her spine. He didn't look disappointed, mad or angry – but not untouched, either. She couldn't place the look in his eyes.

"Elizabeth," he began, also pausing for a while, but speaking up again before she got the chance to interrupt. "I don't want to lose you."

She was surprised. What was he on about?

He went on, apparently having noticed her confused look. "Look, I'm afraid that – if we pretend last night never happened," she flinched, because that was exactly the suggestion she'd been planning to make, "it's gonna cause a rift between us." He gave her a pleading look. "Acting formal around each other is something we've tried before and – it didn't work out well, at least not for me."

Elizabeth thought back to the time shortly after the nanites-incident, when she'd realized how much she allowed John to get under her skin, resulting in his disobeying her direct orders. She'd told herself to pull herself together at the time, to treat John the way she did the rest of the expedition members – and it had been one of the toughest periods in her life. She'd given up on shutting him out soon after making the decision to distance herself from him.

Her expression must have given her away, because John came to his feet and took a step toward her, his eyes holding a burning emotion she couldn't look away from.

"This is exactly why I apologized last night, Elizabeth," he told her, eyes drawing her in. "I've been here before – hell, more times than I can count. But I always knew what I was doing. And you know what? I didn't care. I've become pretty damn good at emotionally distancing myself from my actions."

She listened to his words, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. Hearing him say this, admit this, made her feel burdened in a way that felt _right_. It felt like they were linked; two halves that belonged together. Two halves that put up with each other's problems, knowing that they'd get through in the end. She'd always thought building up this kind of trust would take years.

"But not this time." John's voice broke through her thoughts and she focused on his words again. "You're – you're special, Elizabeth. I don't want to lose you."

Elizabeth briefly closed her eyes. She couldn't bear the intensity of his gaze. When she opened them again, she made a point of staring at the point between his eyes. "You won't lose me, John."

John let out a dry laugh. "So you think we're going to be able to interact the way we used to? Because I'm having doubts about that."

He was right. Much as Elizabeth couldn't bear the idea of emotionally distancing herself from the military head of Atlantis, she knew that in order to get over her feelings, she'd have to put on her professional act and avoid seeing him off the clock.

John shook his head. "Ignoring last night, I can handle. Not being your friend, well, I don't think I can cope with _that_." He blew out a small breath, waiting for her to say something.

"Then what are you suggesting?" she asked, a slight hint of desperation in her voice. She knew he was right, but there was no way they could get around avoiding each other while they were off-duty. Unless they… no. No, she couldn't.

But she wanted to, so very much.

"I suggest we give it a try," John deadpanned, taking a step toward her, and then another one.

"John," she said, shaking her head.

He came closer still, coming close to invading her personal space, but stopping right before she could call him on it.

"Why not?" he whispered.

Elizabeth couldn't think straight, he was standing too close to her, hampering her ability to think straight. "They won't agree," she finally said. With they, she meant the IOA and the SGC, though she was pretty sure there were other organizations on Earth that wouldn't be congratulating them on taking the first step.

"_They_ don't have to know."

The suggestive tone made her shiver. She knew John had never been one to follow regulations - that didn't sound right. She knew he had always been good at _interpreting_ regulations a certain way, and it was starting to look like this situation was no exception.

She wasn't considering it.

"Elizabeth, I never would have suggested this if you hadn't – I don't know, _hinted_ that you wanted us to become more than friends," John told her.

She had just broken up with Simon, how could she possibly forget about that?

In truth, she'd left Simon the moment she first stepped through the Gate. Getting over him was something she'd done some time ago, and the break-up didn't need to hinder her in any way. Still, the regulations were a different matter.

That was what it kept coming back to for her. She _couldn't_ ignore the regulations. If she expected everyone on Atlantis to follow them, how could she not do so herself?

"I want to," she said quietly, eyes searching his again. "Believe me, I do." And she did.

"Then why can't we try… I don't know, something?"

Why, indeed? One of the things she both liked and hated about John, was that he always made things sound so simple ("Do you want something? Go for it"). It was a way of looking at things she'd never dared to put to a use. Still, if she truly wanted to explore her feelings for John, she might have to get over herself and… go for it.

"What something is there to try?" she asked, hoping he'd understand her intentions. "This is ridiculous. We don't even know how we feel about the other, other than knowing we feel _something_. That is not enough for me to put both our jobs at risk, John. I'm sorry." She closed her mouth, looking at him expectantly.

He took the bait. "You want to know how I feel about you? Okay, I'll tell you. I love you, Elizabeth Weir."

He… loved her? How could she be certain? Was she not another Chaya to add to the list? Then again, the speech he'd given her before had made pretty sure how he felt about her. It suddenly hit her that becoming friends with John was one of the smartest things she'd ever done – or rather, one of the stupidest things she'd ever done; it was a matter of how you looked at it. She'd broken right through his defences. She'd gotten through to John Sheppard. And now she couldn't walk away from him anymore. She was in way over her head.

Her diplomatic side took over, reminding her that she couldn't ignore his confession. "I love you, too."

The question was, what were they going to do about it?

TBC...


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: **Hi everybody. I guess this is the chapter you've all been waiting for. Thank you for your patience. Oh, and thanks for the reviews ^_^ **  
**

**Down to Earth**

If John was surprised by her love confession, he didn't show it. But the emotion she saw in his eyes was much worse than surprise – it was gratitude.

Elizabeth tried to grasp why John would feel grateful to her, but her mind refused to give her the answer she wanted. She hadn't given him anything, merely thrown his words back at him. Clearly, she was going to have to ask John about it – only now didn't seem like the right time. They'd just confessed to loving each other, and they were going to need to think of a way to make things work between them.

"So…" John drawled, obviously having no intention to say anything that made sense.

Elizabeth cocked her head to the side. "What do we do?"

John was still standing too close to her, and she shivered when he shrugged. The air around them was tingling, not just with movement but with suppressed feelings as well.

"There has to be a way," Elizabeth began, but she stopped short when John made an exasperated sound. "What?"

"Elizabeth, the time you spend thinking on a way to suppress your feelings could also be spent on figuring out a way to be together," he said, eyes boring into hers.

Being here, standing impossibly close to him, made his suggestion make so much sense. If she wanted to clear her head, she would have to leave this room right now.

"Stop running, Elizabeth," he said gently. "If you want to make this work, I promise we will make this work. All you need to do is say yes."

"I…"

_Stop running._ An image of her father's face appeared in her head, his kind eyes – just the way she remembered them –gently blinking down at her. You wouldn't be able to tell his true age by looking at his face, so youthful it looked. His eyes were sad. "Elizabeth. I wish… there was a way for me to see you live. To watch you be happy." He coughed, and even though she couldn't see them, she knew his shoulders were shaking. It was what they had done when he told her this all these years ago. "Child," he continued in a shaky voice. "Just promise me you will look ahead – see if you've taken the path you wanted to take. Stop running – and make sure you're going in the right direction. Watch what's waiting for you at the end of the road…" He hadn't been able to say anything after that; lungs too busy sucking in much needed air. Three days later, he died.

She had been too busy arranging the funeral and informing friends and loved ones to mourn at the time… and when all that was done, she'd buried herself in her work, never pausing to – to look of what was ahead of her.

_Stop running – and see if you're going in the right direction. _

Elizabeth stared up at John's face. He was watching her face intently. Maybe he was wondering why there were tears welling up in her eyes. He didn't look offended or disgusted with her small breakdown, instead stepping forward to hesitantly place a hand on her shoulder. When she didn't move away, he wrapped both his arms around her. "It's okay," he mumbled, a bit awkwardly.

Seeing John's face clearer than ever before, even though her sight was troubled by tears, Elizabeth realized that this was where she needed to go. This was the road she needed to follow, if only to see whether it would lead to what she truly wanted – happiness.

She owed that to her father. She owed that to _herself_.

And in that moment, she knew she'd made her decision. She wanted to be with John. There was nothing complicated about that. It was time she set her fears aside and start living – start being happy.

She hugged John in return, fingers drawing small circles on his lower back. "Yes," she whispered softly. "Yes."

oOo

He didn't ask anything.

For that, Elizabeth was strangely grateful. She knew she was going to explain everything to John, because crying over the exchange of love confessions wasn't a good place to start. But he _had_ given her the opportunity to remain silent – and his trust made her feel special, accepted.

The memory of her father had hit her so sudden that she knew there would have been no suppressing the tears. No one had ever reminded her of her father the way John did a few hours ago.

Add to that the break-up with Simon, the many meetings, the testing of her leadership, the questioning of John's abilities and the question of whether she would ever find a way to be with John – and you had a pretty decent motive to burst into tears.

Elizabeth tried to think of the last time she cried. She couldn't remember.

Taking a deep breath, she knocked on John's door. He was inside his quarters, she knew, because he'd told her to visit him the moment she felt up to it.

The door opened, revealing the recently promoted Lt. Colonel to her. He sent her an asking smile, and she sent him a watery one in return. She was ready to talk, ready to explain everything, but she suspected it would take some time before she could pull herself together again.

It wasn't quite the way she'd expected promising John that they would try to persuade a relationship to feel, but then again, things hadn't taken expected turns at all lately. And if this was how it was to be – then so be it.

With a soft thud, the door fell closed behind her.

oOo

"There's still one thing that's bothering me," Elizabeth had to point out, before leaving John's quarters. The door was already open, and she quickly closed it again, for she did not want any base personnel to overhear their conversation.

"What's that?" John asked. He was grinning, something he'd been doing for the last – Elizabeth checked her watch – forty minutes now. He was going to have to watch it, because he must be very close to giving himself a cramped jaw, and she didn't think that would do his kissing abilities any good.

She had just enough time to mentally kick herself before remembering the question she'd been about to ask. "When I told you I loved you, you… seemed almost grateful. I wondered why."

John shook his head, grin still present on his face. "I don't deserve it."

"What?" Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at him. If he was going to say he didn't deserve her love, he was in serious trouble.

"Your love." John's grin became even more boyish. "Not in my wildest dreams had I imagined you could actually love… me. You deserve so much better."

She was already shaking her head at him before he was finished with the sentence.

He saw it and laughed. "But I'm far too selfish too step aside. In fact…" He took a step closer to her and Elizabeth's breath caught. How was it that his presence could do that to her? How had she not noticed the effect he had on her during the last twelve months?

Or had she, and had she been unwilling to accept it?

She didn't know, nor did she care. All she knew was John was standing in front of her – feeling the same way she did.

The IOA didn't need to know. The SGC didn't need to know. They'd have to be discrete, yes, but that was something she was good at and… having John by her side would make the trouble of hiding their special bond worthwhile.

Two seconds later, their lips met.

John's mouth was hesitant at first, gently moving against hers, as if asking for permission. She opened her mouth in response, while cupping the back of his head with both hands, drawing him closer. She felt his arms encircle her waist.

Even if aliens invaded the SGC that very second, neither John nor Elizabeth would notice. Both leaders were too caught up in the moment – too busy drinking each other in.

oOo

"Oh, that's just so typical!"

Elizabeth and John exchanged a grin, recognizing the voice before seeing the person the voice belonged to.

John set his mug down on the table. "Morning Rodney."

They were sitting in the Mess, having decided that while the food was objectionable at best, they needed coffee and tea to start the new day. Elizabeth didn't normally eat breakfast, for it took her stomach longer to awake than the rest of her body, but drinking tea was an essential part of her morning ritual.

The scientist came up behind John, stared down over the Lt. Colonel's shoulder and huffed in annoyance. "Of course _you_ would get a cup of coffee while I have to settle for tea." He put – no, _threw _was a better word for it – his tray down and sat down beside John, sparing Elizabeth a brief glance before digging into his eggs and cheddar cheese.

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows at John, who smilingly shook his head.

Rodney raised his head, expression like a kid whose birthday had been cancelled. His mouth was full of egg, but that didn't seem to bother him. "Stop that," he told them, before continuing to chew like his life depended on it.

John raised one eyebrow. "Stop what?" He deliberately took a huge sip. Unlike Rodney, he'd been just in time to get a cup of coffee before the machine was wheeled away to be refilled.

"That thing you two always do," Rodney said, gesturing with his hands as if to indicate what, apparently, they always did. He stuck his fork into his eggs again, stopping short when he saw their impassive faces. "Oh, come on. Are you telling me you don't know?" He shook his head, at the same time sticking his fork into his mouth.

Elizabeth frowned. John shrugged at her.

"There!" Rodney exclaimed, accidentally spitting out a piece of egg that sailed through the air and landed in Elizabeth's tea. Rodney didn't even notice. "You're doing it again." Agitated now, he put down his fork and knife. "Exchanging looks and smiles and all that. Very cute – but I'd rather you not do it at my expanse."

"Exchanging looks and smiles?" John repeated dumbfounded. Elizabeth was just as surprised. Sure, she and John were sometimes able to communicate without talking, but she didn't know it happened so frequently even Rodney had noticed.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yes. The eye-sex thing. You," he added, jabbing a finger in John's direction, "should give me your coffee. I need it."

"Excuse me?" John said, apparently not having as much trouble with the word 'eye-sex' as Elizabeth. In fact, she had to look away for a moment because she was positive her face was turning red.

Rodney picked up his fork again. "Did you work through the night?"

"No."

"There you go. You don't need coffee. Here, let me-"

"Hey. Keep your hands off my cup, McKay."

"Oh, come on. We're supposed to be friends. Friends share."

"Even if you hadn't kept your entire chocolate stash to yourself, I wouldn't believe you."

"Just – all right, what do you want in return?"

Elizabeth closed her eyes while the boys continued bickering. She stood by her decision to try to persuade a relationship with her second in command, but obviously they were going to have to be _very _discrete about it. The last thing she needed was for Atlantis personnel to inform General Landry or, even worse, the IOA about the change in relationship between Atlantis' leaders. Last year, it wouldn't have been that big an issue, because they were cut off from Earth. But now that the Daedalus was going to make regular trips to the Ancient city, they would have to be very careful.

"What? No, I will not buy you a model airplane."

"Your loss."

"Major-"

Elizabeth looked up just in time to see John take one big sip, emptying the cup instantly. McKay's open mouth snapped shut and he aggressively jabbed his fork into his food, sending bits of cheese all over the table.

"Rodney, would you watch it," she said, somewhat irritated. "Your eating manners leave a lot to be desired."

All she got in return was a moody grump.

When she and John exchanged another look, she could swear she heard a growl from across the table.

Deciding it was best to leave the scientist to his coffee-free breakfast, Elizabeth came to her feet. "I'm going to Dr. Jackson's lab. Have a nice day you two."

With that, she walked off.

Spending the day with John seemed like a wonderful idea - up until two minutes ago. After Rodney's exclamation, she didn't think she should push it. Waiting until lunch before seeing John again seemed like a manageable task.

She checked her watch. Still three hours to go.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled her hair behind her ears and entered the elevator. It was going to be a long morning.

TBC…

**AN:** I think it will take one more chapter to wrap this story up. Thanks for reading and please take some time to review. I would really appreciate the gesture.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's note: **First of all, thank you so much for the wonderful support over the last year. I couldn't have possibly finished this story without your reviews. Thanks for staying with me throughout this story, I hope this ending pleases you all.

**Down to Earth**

"Anxious to get back to Pegasus, Colonel?" Elizabeth asked, while she walked up to John who was standing next to a group of new additions to the science team. The scientists were tightly scrambled together, some of them clutching notebooks to their chest, others looking about to be sick, but most of them having a glint of excitement in their eyes that Elizabeth recognized all too well. It was the same look Rodney got whenever he was about to do research on a new Ancient artefact.

John turned to face her. He didn't look as excited as the most anxious scientists, but his eyes were sparkling and even his hair seemed to celebrate their departure by sticking up in more directions than usual. "You bet I am."

Elizabeth glanced around the room. Apart from John, herself and the new scientists, there were other people present as well: the new military forces, a few experts on Ancient technology, some gene carriers (though none as capable as John), Carson and the eight additions to the medical staff and the biologists who were going to study the plant and animal life on the mainland. She briefly wondered how the Athosians would feel about that.

The Daedalus was already in orbit – and about to beam them all up. They were just waiting for Rodney to join them. She suspected he was saying goodbye to Samantha Carter, though she wasn't completely certain. He could also be stuffing his pockets with chocolate bars in the storage room.

John snorted. "And he has the nerve to tell me to stop being late."

"You ought to," Elizabeth informed him, giving him a stern glare. "Granted, it's Rodney we're waiting for right now, but you two are head to head when it comes to oversleeping." A glance at her watch told her that it was four o'clock. Colonel Caldwell must be getting cranky up there. She sighed. His mood was going to be bad to start with. She should stay close to John for the next couple of hours, make sure he didn't become target practice...

Not that she minded keeping him company.

The doors flew open and Rodney stormed in, arms full of boxes. He came to a halt in front of Carson and dumped some of the boxes into the doctor's arms.

Before John could say anything, Elizabeth touched her headset. "Colonel Caldwell, we are ready to beam."

One second later, she vanished in white light.

oOo

Elizabeth quietly entered her quarters. She had lost all sense of time – day and night didn't exist in space – but she did know when she needed to sleep. Her body was practically yelling at her to get some rest.

During the last couple of hours, she went over every single report handed to her by Colonel Caldwell. Apparently, there were strict regulations regarding the Daedalus' visits to Atlantis, among those the chain of command.

Colonel Caldwell outranked John, and would therefore fulfill the role of head of military in Atlantis whenever he was present in the city, no matter how short his stay.

Elizabeth vowed to schedule every important mission or meeting around the arrivals of the Daedalus, because she wasn't sure she could stand the idea of Caldwell making calls around her, while she knew it should be John.

The bed didn't look comfortable. In fact, the floor seemed less objectionable – but there was hardly enough room for her to stretch out on the ground. Most space was taken up by the bed and the chair standing next to it. She'd shoved her pack under the bed moments after arriving, because she couldn't open the door to the corridor if she left it standing on the floor.

Travelling by spaceship wasn't exactly her idea of fun, Elizabeth decided. She didn't understand why a ship this big couldn't contain more room for the people onboard. After all, people actually lived on this thing. She was glad it wasn't her.

Besides, she thought, sitting down on her bed and pulling off her shoes, Colonel Caldwell probably moved into the biggest quarters he could find the moment he was allowed access to the ship, which makes living here less uncomfortable to him. She didn't know what it was about the man that made her uneasy, but she definitely didn't like him. Maybe over time he would warm up to the ways she handled things, until then – she would continue to treat him like the cold-faced General he was: respectful, but with a hint of defiance to it.

She'd seen John do the same thing, and though she knew it wasn't plausible – especially with his career in mind - she couldn't help but smile whenever she saw the two men together. Caldwell could look intimidating all he wanted; it would never have any effect on John.

Too tired to get out of her clothes, Elizabeth lay down on top of the silky covers and closed her eyes.

oOo

"I'm losing my mind."

Elizabeth snorted, and had to breathe in deeply through her nose to prevent the sip of tea she'd just taken from streaming out. She coughed.

John pouted. "It's true. I don't think I've ever been this bored."

Elizabeth looked up at him through watery eyes. "You find my company boring?"

"Are you kidding? It's probably the only thing keeping me sane. Well," John leaned forward and placed his elbows on the table, resting his head on his hands, "that, and my promotion of course."

She shook her head. "You were promoted? Why didn't you tell me?"

He frowned, eyes measuring her up. "Was that sarcasm? Because I'm too tired to think of a smart comeback."

"I guess I've won this round then," Elizabeth stated, inclining her head. "Did you get any sleep last night?" He looked pale.

"It's _always_ night on this ship."

"I take it that's a no."

John sighed. "No, I haven't slept in… forty hours? Give or take. I kinda lost track of time after my forty-eighth game of solitaire."

Elizabeth didn't know if she was amused or annoyed by this statement. She decided it didn't matter. What mattered was that John desperately needed rest. "Well, then I suggest you go to go to your quarters right now, John." He grunted. "I will personally tuck you in if that's what it takes." Realizing what she'd just said, she covered her mouth with her right hand and glanced around. The cafeteria was empty, except for three Marines who were playing a card game in the far corner. They either hadn't heard – or they were good at pretending.

Suddenly, something hit her. "You played solitaire?"

John raised an eyebrow at her.

Elizabeth leaned forward in her chair, finding herself almost nose-to-nose with her CO, who was still resting his head in his hands, "You have a deck of cards?"

John smiled. "Even better. I stole Rodney's tablet."

Elizabeth frowned. "His computer tablet?"

John nodded.

But she had one of those, too! Could one actually play solitaire on the tablets provided for them by Stargate Command? If that was the case, she had just found herself an excellent way to spend the next couple of days.

Putting those thoughts aside – for the moment – Elizabeth focused on the matter that was most important right now. She came to her feet. "I am going to walk you to your quarters," she told John, who gave her a dumbfounded look. "Get up."

John didn't move. "You're not serious?"

Elizabeth placed her hands on her hips, lowering her voice so as not to attract the attention of the Marines in the corner. "Actually, Colonel, I am. You need your rest, and I need my head of military on high alert in case something happens."

"Colonel, huh? You _do_ know how to push my buttons." John slowly rose as well. "Will you be tucking me in?" The glint in his eyes told her he was joking, but she hadn't been kidding when she made the suggestion. At least... not fully.

"I'll think about it," she told him instead. "After you."

John almost ran out of the cafeteria. Shaking her head, Elizabeth followed him. Why did she have the feeling she'd recently agreed to full-time babysitting duty for the foreseeable future?

oOo

She was just about to pull up the cover to his chin when John's hand stopped her.

"What?" she said, tugging harder. "I know it doesn't seem cold in here, but you're going to think differently when you've laid still for a couple of hours. Trust me, I know."

John still refused to budge.

"John…"

"Join me?"

She must have misheard. "Excuse me?"

John's hand dropped away from hers, but she didn't seize the opportunity to properly tuck him in, instead staring at him with wide eyes. "John, we can't. Not here, not now."

"Hey, hey, I'm not suggesting anything," he quickly told her. He sat up in bed and looked her directly in the eye. "I just… think I'll sleep better with you here."

"Why is that?" she asked, curious why he would think that.

John dropped his gaze. "I'll be fine. You can go."

Her computer tablet would have to wait. Elizabeth wasn't letting this subject drop. "John? What is it?"

He still refused to meet her gaze. Sitting there on the edge of his bed, trying to get his attention or at least get him to speak, she felt like she was a mother dealing with her teenage child. Like many other mothers, she wasn't giving in. Granted, she couldn't ground him, but she was going to be persistent.

"Look, if there's something you don't want me to know," she tried, knowing that she was playing dirty. Playing the trust card was a smart, but evil move, for she was aware of how much John wanted her to know he trusted her. After the nanites-incident, he'd made a point of mentioning it in every conversation they had.

John's head shot up. "I've had some nightmares," he blurted out.

"Nightmares?"

John sighed. "It's why I haven't been able to sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I… I see images of the Wraith destroying Atlantis..."

He didn't need to say more. Sometimes it was easy to forget she hadn't been the only one thinking the other was dead – taken out by the Wraith. Or, in his case, blown up by a nuke built by the Genii. She sometimes awoke covered in sweat, the image of his dot disappearing from the screen fresh on her mind.

It was quiet for a while.

"What you're saying," she finally said, "is that my presence will help you sleep better."

John shrugged sheepishly. "I don't know. It would at least be… reassuring."

Appearances be damned. Elizabeth shrugged out of her jacket and took off her shoes, corners of her mouth tugging upward at the surprised look John was giving her. She pulled back the covers and nestled herself next to him. When she'd found a comfortable position, she pulled the cover on top of them both. She wasn't touching John, but she could feel his presence next to her. Surprisingly, the warmth radiating off his body made her shiver.

"Do you think this will help?" she half-whispered.

It took John a moment to reply. "Yeah – sure."

They laid there for a while, neither daring to move. When Elizabeth moved her arm, she was startled by the rustling of the cover. Her arms and legs felt stiff, and she knew John must feel the same way. Surely this couldn't be a good sleeping environment.

She turned her head on the pillow and looked at John. He was studying the ceiling, shoulders pressed flat into the pillow. She could tell his hands were resting on his stomach, because there was a bulb under the cover in that area.

This was ridiculous.

Elizabeth moved closer to John and placed her head on his chest, holding her breath as she did so. He voiced no immediate objection, so she carefully put her right hand on his chest as well. Feeling John relax under her hand, she snuggled closer, all tension exiting her body. Lying there with him felt _right_ and with a small sigh, she closed her eyes.

Suddenly, they flew wide open again. "The door's locked, right?"

All she got was a muffled response, but she assumed it meant 'yes'.

Elizabeth contented herself by listening to his heartbeat for a while before her eyes slid closed again. She was positive she'd never before heard a sound that was more reassuring than the beat of this very heart.

John wasn't dead. He'd come back to her – he was alive.

They both were, and she had just enough time to be thankful for that before sleep pulled her under.

oOo

"I figured you'd want to see this."

Elizabeth came up behind John. He was standing with his back to her, eyes fixed on the view in front of him. He must have heard her arrive, because she hadn't said anything to make him aware of her presence. John was quick at noticing her presence. She'd called him on it a few days ago, and he'd sheepishly told her that her existence was the thing that mattered most to him, and that he would always be able to tell if she was still with him.

She stepped closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He immediately wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. "Look," he said softly.

She looked.

The view that greeted her was amazing. The Daedalus had rapidly flown through the outer atmosphere of the planet, and they were now flying over the brilliant blue water of Lantia. The ocean stretched out in front of them, and the only thing beside water to be seen was the wondrous city of the Ancients, her high towers rising into the sky as if stretching her arms out toward them – welcoming them home.

"We're home," John whispered, voicing her thoughts.

Elizabeth leaned her head back against his chest. "She's beautiful."

The room they were standing in was empty; all personnel were on the main decks, preparing for the landing. That was where they should be as well, but neither of them made a move to go. Elizabeth watched their beloved city grow bigger as they neared her, and she knew that there was no other place in this universe she _could _possibly be right now.

John kissed her hair. "Are you ready for the next step in our adventure?"

She smiled. "Yes," she told him. "I am."

Both physically and emotionally.

The end


End file.
